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Films I'm Looking Forward To... No. 1 - Kick Ass




This films looks brilliant! I saw a trailer on the Internet a few weeks back and have read an in depth article about the film in Empire. It is based on the comic book of the same name... so watch out for this! I believe it comes out on April 2nd which is a bit of a bummer as we will be off to Cape Town on that day... so will have to wait until I get back (or maybe watch it in SA).

World's ugliest fish in danger of extinction


"Stocks of the blobfish, popularly known as the least attractive resident of the high seas, have fallen so low that the much-mocked creature is in danger of dying out.
The blobfish is commonly found off the coasts of Australia and Tasmania.
It lurks unobtrusively at depths of up to 900m, and can grow up to lengths of 12 inches.
They are not actively hunted by the fishing industry, but the increasing trend for deep-sea trawling means blobfish are often being caught in nets laid for crab and lobster.
As such their numbers are dwindling, prompting fears that the blobfish's distinctive features may soon pass into history.
This is surely one fate that the lowly blobfish, already dealt a lousy hand by life's rich pageant, does not deserve." MSN website
Poor old blobfish... doesn't deserve it, even if he does look an ugly f*cker!

Non-entity to leave EastEnders...


"EastEnders star Preeya Kalidas has quit from her role as Amira Shah after almost a year, the soap's bosses have confirmed.
The actress, whose character recently wed Syed Masood (Marc Elliott) in a Muslim ceremony, plans to pursue a pop career and is currently recording her first album."-- MSN website
More like she reached the end of her contract and the BBC decided not to renew it. Honestly you have be incredibly delusional to think you are going to excel at a pop career after having a minor part in a soap opera. Probably see her on Dancing on Ice or Strictly Come Dancing.
Rant over.

Secret Millionaire

Admittedly I have only watched excerpts from various episodes of this programme, so maybe it's a bit unfair of me to judge it... However... I have a problem with it, in that it seems to me it just appeases the ego of these wanting to flaunt their wealth types.

Surely if you are a "secret" millionaire and you want to donate a million quid to some worthy cause you should just do it without advertising. All this programme does is say "Look at me... ain't I generous?" Arrogant egotists.

Rant over.

The Chronicles of Riddick


The Chronicles of Riddick is one of those films I have meant to watch for ages, but have never got around to it. So when I saw it was on the other night I decided to record it on the trusty Sky+ Box.
Bearing in the mind this film was never a great success and had mixed reviews - I thought it was great. Pitch Black is an excellent film that was made on a limited budget. It's sequel though had a lot more money chucked at it... and it shows! Vin Diesel makes an interesting anti-hero and the "universe" it is set in is a lot more original than Star Wars or Star Trek. Elements of it reminded me a bit of Dune in fact.
Well worth watching!
Rating: 8/10

Cadbury... flogged off!

"Cadbury is just the latest in a string of British businesses that have been swallowed up by foreign companies over the years, sparking a wave of national outrage. Disgusted by the group's imminent £12 billion takeover by "processed cheese company" Kraft, some loyal customers have vowed to never buy a Cadbury chocolate bar again. The list is long and includes big names like Rover, Abbey National, Asda, ICI and Corus. Has Britain gone to the dogs?City commentators say that if the UK were to show interest in buying a French or German company it would be shown the door - pure unadulterated protectionism!" - AOL website

It seems to me that in most other countries there seems to be pride taken in successful companies that have been started and built up in their home nation. Not here though. The only thing that seems to matter is getting a massive pay off for the shareholders. Cadbury is taken over by Kraft and immediately there is a threat to the jobs of the employees who have contributed to Cadbury's success. All very, very depressing...

Rant over.

Red Bull


Yet another rant about a telly advert... you would think I could come up with something a bit more original wouldn't you?
This time it concerns Red Bull adverts... what the f*ck are they about? Let me see. Red Bull sponsors and owns two Formula 1 teams, a dangerous and testosterone fueled sport. It sponsors a series of dangerous air races. It's logo is two charging bulls.
Yet their TV ads consist of poofy looking animated drawings of goofy looking characters talking in effeminate voices saying "Red Bull gives you wings!" Are they insane?
Rant over.

KFC... fresh chicken?

Actually, I must admit... I am partial to a 3 piece variety meal now and again. And I have to say I especially like the hotwings. But I digress. My beef is with the latest advert (or should I say chicken?)

The enthusiastic employee says something along the lines of "We have a fresh delivery every day". What exactly does that mean or supposed to imply? Without thinking about it - you hear it as "we use fresh chicken" what it actually says is "we have a delivery 3 times a week".

Blatantly misleading.

Rant over.

Sherlock Holmes

Jeremy Brett was the definitive Sherlock Holmes in my opinion... Having said that Robert Downey Jr brings a completely fresh look to the character. This film is good, honest to god, great fun and I would challenge anyone to say it isn't entertaining. Without going into the story it involves - black magic and a plot to bring down the British Empire and culminates with a fight on the top of the half complete Tower Bridge. I particularly liked the sequences where Holmes visualises what he is going to do next... the action freezes and you get to see what his next planned actions are in advance... then the action resumes and you see the super sleuth's actions in real time. Downey Jr is superb... he has more charisma in the tip of his little finger than someone like Tom Cruise has in his whole body. Great stuff!


Rating: 8/10

"We buy any car..." Do you really?

What an utterly CRAP advert. What has some breakdancing bloke in a suit have to do with valuing your car? Okay... I know adverts can approach their subject manner in a oblique way... but that was pure shite!!

Rant over.

Look like a drug dealer...

Why do people buy black Range Rovers (with blacked out windows and ridiculous wheels)? Pay £46,000 plus and you too can look like a drug dealer. Arseholes...
Rant over.

So long Sinitta


It astonishes me at how someone like Sinitta, a woman of little talent and appalling mediocrity can still coin it by getting onto reality TV programmes. Actually I suppose it shouldn't astonish me when I come to think about it... Anyway, I digress... what I'm trying to say is: She can't sing and she certainly can't ice skate.
But when you looked at the expression on her face you could see the dismay at all the potential cash she was going to lose out on.
Tough luck Sinitta and bog off!
Rant over.

Hannah Waterman... who?

A non-descript actress, I remember, who played a non-descript character in EastEnders about 6 or 7 years ago. Daughter of the talentless Dennis Waterman. Dumps her husband Gary from EastEnders (who had a much bigger part)... because she has lost 3 stones in weight and has released a DVD. Two questions... Is this news worthy? Do we give a sh*t? The answer of course is "No" to both. However I do feel sorry for her husband. He played a loser in a TV soap and he is a loser in real life. A third question springs to mind... who the f*ck is going to buy her DVD?

Rant over.

Rip off train fares...

My father-in-law and his wife (JH and AH) stayed over at ours during the Christmas break... On the Sunday before the 25th we took them down to Dorset where they were going to stay over at A's daughter's place. Out of curiosity we checked the train fares from Bournemouth back to WGC. To buy a single ticket, on the day, would cost... £96!!!!!! Let me say that again... £96!!!!!!!!!!!... EACH. Are South West Trains taking the p*ss or something?

Rant over.

Latest Halifax advert

I tried searching on Google Images for pics from the latest Halifax TV advert... you know the one set in the Radio station studio, but couldn't find anything. I actually couldn't believe what I was watching... what the f*ck was all that about? All it seems to imply to me is that Halifax employ people who are mentally handicapped. Look at their faces - there is something distinctly wrong about it!

Rant over.

Buff-Hoon...

How could anyone seriously vote for this prat? Hoon by name Buffoon by nature. Check him out on Wikipedia... everything this cretin has ever done has been a complete disaster - yet the stupid, idiotic f*cker still gets given plum jobs. He even f*cks up trying to stab his boss, Mr Brown, in the back. D*ckh*ead.

Rant over.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow...

I've been thinking... like you do. Every year, around about now or maybe a bit later in February we get a few days of snow. And as we know this snow causes an absurd amount of grief because there isn't the equipment to deal with it. And there isn't the equipment to deal with it because it is supposedly not worth the expenditure to invest in a lot of snow ploughs, gritters etc. considering we only get a few days of it. However at the same time we are told that the snow costs the British economy millions of £'s in lost business. SO WHY THE F*CK IF IT COSTS THE ECONOMY SO MUCH... DON'T WE INVEST IN ENOUGH EQUIPMENT TO DEAL WITH IT?... surely it would pay for itself pretty quicky and then the money would be well spent because everyone could get to work or go to school and go about their daily business. It ain't rocket science!!!

Rant over.

"Iceland leader vetoes bank repayments bill"

"Iceland's president has refused to sign a controversial bill to repay $5bn (£3.1bn) to the UK and the Netherlands.
President Olafur Ragnar Grimsson said he would instead hold a referendum on the bill, following public protests.
The legislation was designed to compensate governments forced to bail out their savers with Icesave accounts following Iceland's banking collapse."
- BBC News website

I suppose this is the money our so-called hard up councils had invested... anyway the article goes on to say that if Iceland doesn't resolve this issue they will have zero credibility in the financial world bearing in mind they had to borrow billions from the IMF... and the knock on effect will be little chance of joining the EU.

Looks like Iceland is f*cked.

Collect all 387 issues...

The first issue is always 99p and then you have to pay £3.99 for every subsequent issue. Of course the fact that you could buy a perfectly good book that covers the same subject for a fraction of the price escapes most people. Retards.

Rant over.

Burj Dubai (Khalifa)


I just had to post a pic of world's tallest building / structure which opened today in Dubai. 828 metres tall and 160 floors... Impressive!! When we fly to Cape Town via Dubai this Easter, I must remember to look out the window and take a look.

Fluff

In our house I am the one who usually does the hoovering... an intensely boring task. What I find bizarre is why thick lumps of fluff and dust miraculously appear within moments of finishing... and always, always, ALWAYS... under the coffee table!

Rant over.

Pub Quiz Annoyance...

We took part in our local pub quiz the other day - along with my father-in-law and his missus. A cross between Bingo and Blockbusters, we ended up in a tie break situation on the first game. Unfortunately we lost to a smart alec git with an irritating smirk on his face. The same git kept going up and in the end won two out of the four games. Prizes were selected randomly and much to my amusement the smart arse won a single bottle of wine (to share between his team) and the booby prize of a £5 voucher for use in the pub restaurant (something which you could pick up off of the table you were sitting at).

Tough luck smart alec git... bet you're not smirking now!

Rant over.

The End of Time

Of course the one time I most definitely wanted the Sky+ box to work - the b*st*rd thing fails... I swear to God at times there is a conspiracy against me to do the most basic of things that I really want to do... or in this case see. So... I ended up watching Part 2 of Doctor Who on BBC iPlayer. I loved the end of Part 1 where it was revealed that the Timelords were going to return and being led by Timothy Dalton no less. Part 2 featured some brilliant acting by David Tennant, Bernard Cribbens and John Simm and it was largely these three that held it all together. The plot as usual was a bit iffey but I loved it! The last 20 minutes or so dragged a bit and to be honest I was a little bit disappointed with the 10th Doctor's regeneration sequence (It wasn't as good as Ecclestone's!) It was a great idea to neatly draw a line under the Russell T Davis era and therefore give a clean slate for the new Moffat era. Long live The Doctor!!

Rating: 8.5/10