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"Not so fan-dabi-dozi! Eighties children's entertainers The Krankies admit to being secret swingers"

"For those of you who still think they're a double act consisting of a cheeky schoolboy and his sinister older friend, this will be hard to take.

Brace yourself – the Krankies have admitted in a radio interview that they were secret swingers and have a seedy sexual past.

'Wee Jimmy' and Ian Krankie were idolised by children in the 1980s, and are fondly remembered for their comedy catchphrase 'fan-dabi-dozi'

But the pair – who are in real life husband-and-wife team Janette and Ian Tough – have revealed that while they entertained the nation's kids by day, outside working hours they both openly had a string of affairs and enjoyed alfresco romance." -- Daily Mail website

Even as a child I found something disturbing about The Krankies. But did we really need to know this?

Rant over.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows

I can’t believe how quickly time has elapsed since I reviewed the first one of these films… and to be honest I might as well “cut and paste” the same review because Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows pretty much covers the same ground as its predecessor. The cast put in a reasonable performance (although I still don’t think this is the correct way to portray Holmes), the action is fast paced and there is more of the Holmes predictive fight scenes where he works out in advance what is going to happen and how his opponent will respond. The film of course concludes with the prospect of a second sequel… nothing new there then.

So there you have it… worth a look and reasonably entertaining (but you will have forgotten the plot within minutes of leaving the cinema).

Rating: 7/10

Off The Cuff Rant No.8

I tell you what grates on me. TEABAGS... specifically Yorkshire Teabags. They come in 2's joined together. But whenever you put your hand in the box or the caddy or whatever you call it - you never, I repeat NEVER... manage to pull out a single one that you had previously detached from a prior cuppa. Instead you have to go through the process again of separating them, invariably one handed because there is something standing on top of the box and then everything topples out of the cupboard or the teabag tears and ultimately you wish you hadn't bothered and remained thirsty.

Rant over.

The Expendables 2

I really hope this is better than the first one!

Going to see Sherlock Holmes 2 on Sunday (or whatever it is called) so will write a review as soon as I can.

Bloke from Il Divo

Smarmy looking git!

Rant over.


I don't know how Angelina Jolie manages to keep getting plum roles in big budget films... because let's face it... she ain't much cop in most of them. Which conveniently leads me on to Salt.

When I originally saw the trailer to this film it looked fairly intriguing. Is she or isn't she a double agent?... is the crux of the plot. Well all I can say is that she suddenly becomes a one woman killing machine and dispatches her way through hordes of agents, police or dodgy Russians.

To be honest the action is fast paced and I really really wanted to like this film... but it is in fact B*LL*CKS!!!

Rating: 6/10

Odious Frog Midget

Now don't get me wrong I firmly believe the future of Europe hangs in the balance with the current economic problems... but after this latest EU summit it seems pretty clear the French and the Germans want to fashion a Eurozone with them at the centre of it dictating what can and cannot be done to the other 15 EZ member states. All seems very dodgy to me. Although probably necessary in the short-term... the longterm prospects seem more than a trifle sinister!

Mind you what is definitely certain is that old "Napoleon" above hates us (the British) with a passion. What a truly vile little b*st*rd he is!!

Rant over.

Off The Cuff Rant No.7

So American Airlines files for bankruptcy protection... but that doesn't stop them from putting on a series of lavish TV adverts featuring Kevin Spacey. I bet their employees feel reassured. Not.

Rant over.

5 years old today!

Just to let you all know... The Hammond Rants celebrates it's 5th birthday... today. Here's to the next 5 years!!!

Rant over.

More from Standard & Poor

You would think someone at this outfit wants to deliberately f*ck things up with the global economy. The Krauts and the Frogs come to a vital agreement and within hours S&P indicate, without warning, that they may downgrade the credit rating of all the countries in the Eurozone. Brilliant bit of timing... or more likely a deliberate bit of timing.

Rant over.

Blue Bloods

I don't really know why I watch this TV cop series about three generations of NYPD officers as it is pretty nauseating. Tom Selleck is the New York police commissioner with a conscious and always does the right thing (obnoxiously). His father also held the post of police commissioner (and is equally sanctimonius). One son is a hardnosed detective who miraculously always seems to be investigating a serious crime that grips the city (although he is only of lowly rank)... his other son (also incredibly) is quite often on the scene of the same crime and his daughter is a prosecuter and will be taking to court the same perp that her brother has been investigating... basically it is - "keep it in the family" - every episode.

Having said all that... it is fairly watchable.

Rating: 6.5/10

For the chop?

Pompous, arrogant and deliberately trying to be controversial in an unfunny way... why can't Clarkson be executed instead?

Rant over.