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Deary me!

This train terminates here...

1st Class

Wells-next-the-sea (Part 2)

A frustrating fact about trying to go on walks around Wells is that to get to any of the footpaths or bridleways you have to run the gauntlet of the country lanes. Psychotic motorcyclists and a*rsehole 3 series drivers (see the The Hate List) bombed along these particular lanes.

We went for a trip on the Wells to Walsingham Railway... the world's longest 10ish" narrow gauge railway no less - and very pleasant it was too.

To be continued...

The Strip... Walsingham

Where we stayed...

Wells-next-the-sea (Part 1)

15,000,000 people decided to spend the weekend in Wells, Norfolk, over the Summer bank holiday weekend. Unbelievable!... I know, I know... it is what we should have expected, especially considering the weather - but even so!

After eventually finding somewhere to park (no mean feat - I tell you) we made our way down to the harbour front. There we found thousands of people milling around and watching a rather boring display of the inshore lifeboat service, but what was really weird was that they were marshalling about 48 Newfoundland dogs on to an island opposite the quay. Bloody bizarre!

To be continued.


I can't stand that bloody Strongbow advert where the unshaven tubby bloke starts drinking his pint and utters "Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"... Who bloody well drinks Strongbow anyway?

Rant over.

Star Trek New Voyages

If you follow the link below there is an interesting article about a group of fans who are making brand new episodes of the original Star Trek series (ie. Kirk, Spock etc). They have become so successful that they are having some of the original actors starring in them. The guy who started it meticulously built new sets exactly matching the 1960's sets. The latest episode features the return of George Takei as Mr Sulu!

Sunset over Kuredu


Jacques Cousteau

The Maldives (Part 5)

We hired snorkelling gear a couple of times and had a go at exploring the undersea world of the Indian Ocean... well floundered around at least!

One of the included excursions was a sunset cruise. Unfortunately the sky was cloudy so we only really got a watery sun descending below the horizon. However we did see dolphins which came alongside the boat and performed their aquabatics.

Another excursion included a visit to one of the other islands where real Maldivans were living. We were given a guided tour of a Tuna fish canning factory and saw boxes of the stuff being packed for Morrisons.

At last it was time to come home... we had our luggage picked up at 10:30pm the previous night (it had to return by boat) and the next day climbed aboard the seaplane to take us back to Male. Our holiday to the Maldives was over.

One of the many Northern Slap Head Gits!

The Maldives (Part 4)

Relaxation... total 100% relaxation that was how we spent our week. There was only really one irritation that I can rant about... with the exception of a few Germans (all of whom sported ridiculously moronic tiny sproutings of hair under their lower lip) - every soddin' other visitor was a bloody Northerner... and they were all slap-heads!!! It was utterly unbelievable - "Eh up chuck, fancy a brew?" you know the sort. You couldn't avoid them. In the restaurant the two couples on neighbouring tables were - you guessed it! Northerners. Clearly the Maldives has become some kind of Mecca for them. On one occasion we were sitting in one of the bars and this great slob - gut wobbling over its shorts, sporting large unsightly tattoos, waddled passed us - accompanied by his equally tattooed Northern wife/girlfriend/slapper.

I actually thought I was hallucinating because there were so many slap heads. Everywhere you looked - bald headed Northern tossers! I wanted to take photos but N stopped me in case I ended up getting punched!

To be continued...

Beach Villa No. 229

The Bathroom

The Maldives (Part 3)

Our stay in beach villa No. 229 proved to be very comfortable. The bathroom was actually outside (there were walls and a ceiling over part of it!)

To be continued...

Arrival at the island of Kuredu

Two Twin Otters!

The Twin Otter

The Maldives (Part 2)

The DHC-6 Twin Otter is a 20-passenger STOL feederliner and utility aircraft developed by de Havilland Canada. It is often called the most successful aircraft program in Canada's history. The aircraft's fixed tricycle undercarriage, STOL abilities and relatively high rate of climb have made it a successful cargo, regional passenger airliner and MEDEVAC aircraft. In addition, the Twin Otter has been popular with commercial skydiving operations. It is generally limited to carrying 22 jumpers (a relatively large load compared to most other aircraft in the industry); presently, the Twin Otter is used in skydiving operations in Sweden, Finland, Norway, Spain, Australia, USA and other nations worldwide...

It is also used (in its seaplane variant) to transport holidaymakers to their island destination in The Maldives... and it was fun! Especially when you come into land because even as a passenger you can see out of the front and sea the Indian Ocean rushing up towards you (although N refused to look).

Once the plane was tied up to the jetty we climbed off and made our way to the main reception. To add an authentic Maldivan effect the sound of drums could be heard. We later discovered that the drums were played everytime a plane landed and a group of bewildered guests were deposited.

We were checked in and made our way to our beach villa.

To be continued...

Note the tan...

The Maldives (Part 1)

Socks... or more accurately a lack of socks. That is what I endured for nearly a whole week on an island approximately 1.5 km in length situated in the Indian Ocean. Just over 300,000 people live on a 1,000 plus islands that make up The Republic of The Maldives - and I must say it was exceptionally pleasant.

We set off from Gatwick Airport flying by Emirates via Dubai and then onto Male. The idea was to leave one of the cars at my mum's and get the Thameslink direct to Gatwick. Of course there was soddin' engineering works which torpedoed that idea and meant we had to travel from WGC into Kings Cross, tube it across London and get a train from Victoria to Gatwick. All went well though.

Why is it whenever you fly there is always someone who is weird or irritating sitting next to you? This time there was no exception... our fellow passenger in our group of three seats asked if we could constantly speak to her during the flight so as to take her mind off of her fear of flying. Needless to say we ignored her. Weirdo! In the end she asked a flight attendant if she could move seats and promptly got a seat in first class. Typical.

Inflight entertainment was a bit hit and miss. Emirates has a pretty impressive interactive system so I settled down and watched "Blades of Glory" which was rather amusing (Rating: 6.5/10) and then "Eragon" which was one of the worst films I have ever seen. Utter crap (Rating: 1/10).

We transferred at Dubai International which had a lot of construction work going on. There were about 50,000 people lying on the floor asleep in the main terminal building (as there was a distinct lack of seats). The Dubai to Male leg was more stressful in that legroom was sparse and the moron in front of N kept bouncing the back of his seat up and down. This moron was English, northern and had an earring... this would become a recurring theme on our holiday... as you will see...

To be continued...