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Weekend in Yorkshire (Part 2)

There is no place to park in Whitby... that is the conclusion we came to when we arrived there on Saturday afternoon. Actually that isn't true - we simply had to leave the car half way up a hill just out of the town centre.

We took a stroll along the narrow cobbled streets taking in the ambiance of this quaint northern town... and the retarded looking inhabitants/visitors. "Hey up... fancy a brew at the tuther end of town" or some such northern gibberish.

Climbing the 199 steps up to the Abbey was a bit of a slog - but at least we were rewarded with a cream tea at the YHA run teashop at the top. I tried to convince N that Dracula actually existed and came to Whitby - but to no avail... she didn't believe me! After some more exploration of the town including a walk around the harbour we decided to make our way back to The Falcon Inn for dinner.

To be continued...

Whitby Abbey

Home of... COUNT DRACULA!!!

Weekend in Yorkshire (Part 1)

I swear our bloody sat nav has a mind of it's own... Being a lazy sod I've practically given up looking at maps and now end up relying on this irritating device stuck to the inside of the car windscreen. Anyway our latest weekend away (and last one for the school summer holidays) was up in Yorkshire between Scarborough and Whitby. The route we took involved crossing The Humber Bridge - which I have never done before (or seen) and I admit I was impressed (even though it cost £2.70 for the toll). Okay it ain't as impressive as The Golden Gate Bridge but it is a damn sight better than that concrete monstrosity that takes the M25 across The Thames.

It took us about 4 hours or so to get to The Falcon Inn ( where we were staying... so it was a quick drop off of our luggage and then back in the car to take a look at Whitby via the restaurant we would be dining at on Sunday evening.

To be continued...

Asil Nadir and Polly Peck

Who the f*ck in their right mind would call a company Polly Peck?... what's all that about?? I wonder if this crook named it after his pet parrot??? Prick.

Rant over.

The Expendables

This film was very reminiscent of the classic 80's action hero films - especially Commando (the end in particular) but I felt as if it lacked something. The dialogue wasn't great, the plot was very basic and some of the acting (ie. Dolph Lundgren) was appalling. I don't like Jason Statham - basically I think he is a sh*t actor with the charisma of a barnacle and there was simply too much of Statham in The Expendables. I actually think the film would have been better if it had JCVD and Seagal starring in it instead. Schwarzenegger and Willis are in it for about 2 or 3 minutes and there is a very funny line at the end of the their scene. Mickey Rourke is very good and in fact shows the others up. I like Stallone and he is likeable in his role as Barney Ross, leader of The Expendables but at no time in the film do you ever feel the characters are in any great danger. The villains are instantly forgettable and very 2 dimensional. What a shame... I was really expecting something memorable.


Rating: 6/10

Saw "The Ride"

Interesting to see that Thorpe Park has a roller coaster ride based on the The Saw films... surely it would have been more apt to have locked people in a room chained up having to solve fiendish puzzles... with hideous consequences if they fail! Okay maybe not...



One of our days out last week was at Duxford Aircraft Museum. The last time I went there must have been some 30+ years ago and from what I can vaguely remember about that first visit it has changed one hell of a lot!

My only complaint about the place is that it costs £16.50 to get in. The amount of exhibits on display is huge, not just aeroplanes but ground vehicles too. One thing that amazed me was that we discovered a Eurofighter Typhoon in the restoration hanger.

Anyway I would certainly recommend a visit as it is very impressive.

Rating: 9/10


Or should I say Boulogne-sur-Mer? MO, N and I took one of our daytrips across the water to Boulogne courtesy of P&O Ferries. This time I had to drive which I wasn't looking forward to because I have never driven my own car on the right hand side of the road (or should that be the wrong side of the road?). The other stressful bit was the possibilty of the monkeys parked on either side of us on the ferry whacking their doors into the side of our nice new Mazda. Fortunately I didn't have to worry and the car remained unscathed. An issue I have is that it is against the law to not have a GB sticker, stickers on your headlights (which we had), a warning triangle, reflective jacket and a fire extinguisher (which we didn't). And of course you can buy all of this pointless equipment at a rip off rate on the ferry.

Once we arrived in Calais we took a quick detour to one of the nearby hypermarche's... only to find the lazy French f*ck*ers were closed. Should have realised because it was a Sunday. But hold on... wait a minute... it would be still closed if it was a Monday or a Tuesday and probably every other afternoon. I am staggered Tesco's haven't tackled the French market as I reckon they would tear the local competition to pieces.

Anyway we carried on to Boulogne and parked near to the train station. A quick nose through a car boot sale (I have never understood the fascination in car boot sales) and then a stroll along the seafront. We considered visiting the aquarium centre but as the entrance fee was a bit over the top we didn't bother.

We walked back up through the centre of town and into the vielle ville (not as good as Nice however). Dinner was alfresco at a restaurant off of Gulliver's Jardin and then it was a quick walk back to the car and the return from Calais. Of course our ferry was delayed by an hour and we ended up sitting at a table adjacent to a family of 58 orthodox jews (looked like there were at least a couple of sets of triplets). The mess they left was disgusting... and the matriach looked like Terry Jones from Monty Python dressed up in drag - honestly it was a bloke!!!

Dover to home was on cruise control.

Bon nuit.

Jersey Boys

I didn't really know much about The Four Seasons before we saw the musical Jersey Boys last Thursday but I certainly recognised all the songs. This musical is excellent. In fact I would say it is the best show we have seen over the last couple of years... far better than the mediocre Grease. Go and see it!

Rating: 8/10


The talentless but loaded Christine Bleakley leaves The One Show... and is replaced by her exact double... some other cheaper non-entity by the name of Alex Jones. What's all that about? Can't the BBC employ someone that looks different? F*ck*ng weird.

Rant over.

Nice (Part 6)

Our last day in the Cote d'Azur was a bit soggy (at least to begin with). We visited the Museum of Modern and Contemporary Art followed by the Museum of Marshall Masena (one of Napoleon's mates). Amazingly both had free entrance! Next door to Masena's pad was the Hotel Negresco where we had booked that evening's dinner.
Now as you may have realised one of the things that N and I do well when we go away on holiday is eating!... and Nice proved to be no exception. Dinner on that last evening was at the top notch La Rotunda restaurant situated in Nice's most luxurious and exclusive hotels: The Negresco. Okay I must say the service was a bit snooty but the food was truly superb!! If you ever go to Nice - I urge you to have dinner at La Rotunda.
And that was pretty much it. Friday we sadly had to head off home. The 99 bus back to the Airport and then our BA flight back to Heathrow. Couldn't help feeling smug to see the Ryan Air flight had been cancelled and the Jet2 flight to Leeds was delayed - much to the inconvenience of a load of Northerners.
One last observation I want to make was the number of scrawny looking, hard faced, big nosed, chain smoking French women there were - and all of them looked like mutton dressed as lamb. Oh one other observation - Why do all French pharmacies have Vegas style neon lights that do special animation sequences to form a cross symbol. WEIRD!

Nice (Part 5)

We decided to return to Nice for dinner that evening which we had at the restaurant next door to the one we dined at the previous evening.
Each morning we had breakfast at a cafe just down the road from our hotel. Une petit dejeuner simples! (sounds like the Meerkat advert). And of course everyone else that ate there had an espresso, a glass of water and a fag.
To be continued...

Nice (Part 4) - Monaco

After gambling away a few thousand euros at the casino, we had a spot of lunch. Which took a bloody age for us to get served. In fact N (in her inimitable way) took charge and went sorted things out when she espied our drinks and subsequently our food sitting on the counter (the waitering staff were buggering around elsewhere).

Then we took a slog of a walk to the old town where we took the "Noddy" train on a tour of the principality. Oh yes... as we were walking an annoying (English) bitch who was just behind us uttered "can't you get any f*cking slower" or some such sentence (I'm not sure the slag realised we spoke English) so I just gave her a hail of abuse as she went past. UNBELIEVABLE!!

To be continued...

Nice (Part 3) - Monaco

Wednesday - and we boarded our luxury yacht from the port at Nice and took a leisurely trip hugging the coast of the Cote d'Azur. Caviar and champagne for lunch and about an hour or so later we were making our grand entrance to the harbour at Monte Carlo.

Okay, okay... we took the train to Monte Carlo - a journey of 20 minutes aboard a double decked commuter service. On arrival we took a stroll up to the Casino... the symbols of wealth were visible by the kerb side. Monte Carlo is the only place where I have seen 2 McLaren SLRs, 2 Ferrari F430s, 2 Rolls Royce Phantom Dropheads, a Maybach and a Mercedes G500 V8 all in the same place.

To be continued...

Citroen DS - one of the greatest cars of all time!

Le Citroen DS est magnifique!

Nice (Part 2)

Nothing like taking the old open top tour bus when you visit foreign parts... and that is exactly what we did on our second day in Nice. The annoying thing though was that several of the museums and art galleries we planned to visit were closed - thanks to the lazy French b*st*rds.

I reckon the worst thing one could do is drive a car around Nice... simply because there is absolutely nowhere you can park it. And even if you did manage to park - you would find the corners knocked off it or the bumper busted because French drivers just bash their way into ridiculously small spaces with no chance of pulling away without physical contact of a neighbouring vehicle.

Dinner on Tuesday was at an Italian restaurant complete with accordion player!

To be continued...

Nice (Part 1)

Nice is bloody expensive, I'll tell you that! And you can see the wealth out in the harbour. Our flight out was pretty much uneventful - the only annoyance were the two brats and their mother sitting in front of us. Sebastian and Benjamin (Benjie for short) spent their time doing a Doctor Who quiz (for which I don't have an issue with) and their very well spoken mother was asking them inane questions. It seems Sebastian and Benjamin were going to have to share rooms in their expensive 2nd home somewhere on the Cote d'Azur as their cousins were visiting. As I said there is great wealth in the region.

We slummed it on the 99 bus to Nice Ville Gare which was only a short walk away from our hotel The Excelsior. Trip Advisor recommended having a room facing the inner courtyard. Ours was facing the main road. Fortunately though it wasn't noisy and we would sleep well.

We took a stroll along the Promenades Anglais towards the Place Masena and then down into the labyrinthine alleyways of the Vielle Ville. An ice cream later and we felt absolutely knackered so took the tram back to our hotel.

Dinner that evening was at the Buffalo Grill where we had a slight altercation with a knobhead who was waiting for a table. French restaurants don't seem to be very quick with their service a recurring theme we would find on the following nights!

To be continued...

The French Connection

I kept being reminded of The French Connection during our stay in Nice... every so often you would hear that tinny dated police siren sound from the seventies blaring through the narrow streets. Time had stood still...

To be continued...

Door banging...

I'll tell you what annoys me... You know - when you are lying in bed trying to sleep and a draught blows the bedroom door shut. Except it doesn't close properly. It bounces back and then the breeze bangs it shut again... and then once more it clicks open. Aaaargggghhhh!!! So then you have to get up and pull it right open or close it properly. That annoys me...

Rant over.