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The Arch

Cape Town II - The Wedding (Part 5)

Windy... that was what it was like at Cape Point. Bloody windy. So windy in fact you could barely stand up straight. There were also baboons - mind you we only saw two of the buggers and they were nonchantly strolling along the road.

Mum, T and I were given a tour by Mo, his mum, his aunt and Na of their part of town. We met Mo's cousin who was fishing for cray fish, saw the lighthouse at Cape Point and where the two oceans meet (Atlantic and Indian). Affluent Simons Town was another stop off point and Mo's mum and aunt told us about the relocation that occurred in 1968 that forced them out of Simons Town to the area known as Ocean View.

Mo and Na showed T and I where they used to swim and we saw the penguins at Boulder's Beach. Unfortunately the waters are now shark infested so swimming can be hazardous!

To be continued...

Ranting Interlude

Natasha Beddingfield – What a load of shite… "I wanna have your baby" etc sung in a flat monotone. Crap, talentless rubbish with vague aspirations to copy the much superior Pink.

Also Gwen Stefani and Akon. "Weeeeeooooo, weoooooo, weeeeoooooo, weeooooooo" Utter drivel. I have the indescribable urge to smash this bloke’s head in with a baseball bat. Rubbish of the highest magnitude!

Rant over.

The Best Man & The Groom

The Groom's Speech

Ladies and Gentlemen - N and I want to thank you, Mom, for those kind words and good wishes. Needless to say, we are both delighted to be here today! I'd like to thank you and G; L and C for being such welcoming hosts to T, my Mum and myself during our stay in Cape Town. I would also like to thank Mr. H for his permission for his eldest daughter's hand in marriage and to my own Mum for making such a long journey to South Africa. Thank you to you both.

I'm sure you'll all agree that I'm the luckiest man in the world. I have a beautiful, intelligent and hardworking wife. Actually she has a long list of qualities - but I can't decipher her handwriting...! And I have such marvellous new friends and relations here to share the day with us. My wife and I want to thank you all for coming to our wedding, and for your very generous presents. Thank you!

I would like to tell you a little story that happened on my birthday last year. N and I had been seeing each other for three months and for an evening out we went to see the Billy Joel Musical in London. Anyway N had give me some chewing gum which I duly proceeded to chew. After a while I wanted to dispose of the gum and it was with absolute stupidity that I took it out with my fingers with the intention of hiding it under my seat. Unfortunately it remained stuck to my fingers... the next hour was spent frantically trying to remove the gum but the trouble was - the more I tried the worse it got until all my fingers ended up welded together. All this time I was trying to conceal it from N. Anyway in the end I gave up and confessed all. Needless to say N thought it was hysterical!

I see out of the corner of my eye, that Tony, my best man, is getting impatient, waiting to make his speech. So far he's been a perfect best man, I'm sure you'll agree. I say "so far" because we haven't heard his speech yet!

I would also like to thank M for her wonderful support to N as her bridesmaid, especially as they both had to get up very early for the hairdresser.

I would like to give special thanks to one of the youngest guests today - little c, who had the most important job as ringbearer.

Finally, I want to say that there is one gift that has come to me personally and to me alone. This is a gift you cannot buy. A gift without price, yet a real treasure; I speak of the young lady sitting next to me! So it is with real appreciation that I say to M and J - "Thank you, both of you for N's hand in marriage."

The Shoes, The Rings and The Bouquet

Cape Town II - The Wedding (Part 4)

Pickled fish and hot cross buns!!!... bleurgh!... I hear you cry. Actually although it is a strange combination for British tastes I can vouch that it is very good. Well... maybe I prefer the pickled fish (tastes like curried fish) from the hot cross buns but there you go. A South African Good Friday speciality and N absolutely loves it! Breakfast, lunch, dinner and supper - that is all you are supposed to eat - pickled fish and hot cross buns. Mum, T and I had lunch at Mom's. Along with L, C, c, G and of course N and it was superb.

The morning was spent at the Aquarium in Cape Town (rather apt - considering the meal to come) and the evening was spent at Cubana, a restaurant / bar that specialises in cocktails. Dirty Sanchez anybody?

To be continued...

The Ceremony

Cape Town II - The Wedding (Part 3)

When one is wine tasting you must hold the stem of the glass so as not to heat the wine up with your hand. Slosh it around and if it leaves traces around the glass then it is said to have "legs". Inhale the aroma and when one imbibes it try and get as much air in it as possible so as to get the fullness of taste… or words to the effect if memory serves me! This was what we were told on the wine tour we did on the Thursday afternoon. We visited two wine farms and had a tour of Stellenbosch which is an attractive town near to Cape Town.

During the morning the intention was to go to the top of Table Mountain however we had a last minute change of plan which was probably a mistake as the winds would subsequently build up and prevent us from going to the summit for the rest of our stay.

To be continued...

The Cake

Cape Town II - The Wedding (Part 2)

Another recommendation I wish to make when visiting Cape Town is to hire a car with air conditioning... unfortunately this was something I failed to do this time! N, T, Mum and I headed off for the hotel in the city centre where T was staying and then onto the other hotel where Mum and I were staying (N was staying at her Mom's).

One hour and 15 minutes of rest later - N and I were off to see Pastor C who would be officiating at our wedding. Pastor C as I quickly discovered is an ardent Manchester United supporter (in fact most Cape Townians seem to be fans of Man U). We got down to discussing the details of the ceremony and then headed back.

Dinner that evening was at L and C's, we had a braai (barbecue) and T and Mum got to meet N's family. M who was N's bridesmaid was also there. The food was excellent and after a couple of beers tiredness set in and so by the time my head hit the pillow that evening I was already asleep!

The Couple

The Rings

The Thinker


I'm glad to see that N and I have inspired our brother-in-law's own rantings on CamSpam. Check out

Let the ranting continue!

Cape Town II - The Wedding (Part 1)

Well... here I am again! Back from South Africa... only now I'm married!!! I actually arrived back yesterday with my Mum - and have only just returned now from Heathrow having picked up my wife N. However I don't want to start from the end so let me rewind back to 3rd April when T (best man), Mum and I departed for Cape Town...

Let me say firstly that direct evening flights to South Africa are by far the best way to get there... mind you I'm not so sure that Virgin Atlantic are the best airline. Ironically I think Qatar Airways are superior (see my earlier postings for my first trip to Cape Town) unfortunately they do not fly directly from the UK. We had absolutely no problems checking in and after having a quick meal at an O'Neil's we perused the shops in Departures.

Everytime I am in an airport departures lounge I am drawn to the "Car Raffle" stands that they have. They were obviously struggling to sell tickets because they were all heavily discounted - this time the car on display was a Ferrari F430. WHAT A CAR!!! Absolutely bloody gorgeous! I want one!! Needless to say I didn't buy a ticket.

After killing some time we eventually boarded the plane and were underway. The flight was uneventful - not even any turbulance to liven things up a bit. I watched Borat which was very funny and mercilessly took the pee out of the Americans. A bit near the knuckle in many places and revolting in some (the bit where he is wrestling naked with his fat mate springs to mind)

Incredibly I managed to sleep quite a bit - undoubtly helped by the fact that it was night time and also because the legroom was quite reasonable for an economy seat (this was a different story on the way back though!) - My tip is go for one of the 2 seats and not the central 4 seats on an A340.

Wednesday morning and we touched down at Cape Town International where N was waiting...

To be continued...

The Last Post!... as a single man

I've sneaked off whilst N is chatting to her sister L to make this last post as a free man! Everything has gone really well and T, my mum and I have been looked after really well. Only a few hours left and I will be married... THUD! (fainted).