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Pampers Wipes

Since the twins were born we must have used about 238,000,000,000 of these bloody things... And do you know what really p*sses me off? Every time you pull one out, you "accidentally" pull TWO out. Obviously a cunning design which means you have to buy more of them! Bastards!!!

Rant over.

Apprentice Archetypes No. 4

There is always someone who immediately puts themselves forward as project leader but never gets to do it as the others never trust them.

Big Brother Archetypes No. 3

There is always a lingerie model (quite often a northerner or Irish) on the show as well as an infatuated dweeb.

You don't need talent to make money...

Today I couldn't help thinking how we will never see this years winner of The Voice again. No matter how good you are you need someone to pour money into your career and I really don't think anyone is going to splash the cash with Andrea Begley.

Following on from this I always found it appalling that 2010 X Factor winner Matt Cardle was basically p*ssed on by Simon Cowell in favour of 6th placed One Direction. Of course these five talentless f*ckwits are now all multimillionaires. Which is bloody galling. For instance the odious little prick at the top "Zayne" who "sings" about two words on every other song takes a share of £60,000,000 whilst Cardle who could actually sing well was completely sidelined. Totally unfair and bloody disgusting.

Rant over.


"We now know that you are entitled to £2950 for the mis-selling of ppi on your loan or credit card. To claim for free reply 'CLAIM' to this message."

Okay... so you are telling me a mysterious texter knows that I am owed nearly three grand? How... pray... would they happen to know this information? What a load of f*cking b*ll*cks. And you would have to be a retard to believe it!

Rant over. 

Man of Steel

I was really looking forward to seeing Man of Steel. I hadn't got around to seeing Iron Man 3 or Star Trek Into Darkness at the cinema but I was determined to see this reboot of Superman. I was particularly interested to see if there was going to be references to Batman or any of the other DCU characters for a possible Justice League set up.

Unfortunately there this none of this... And to be honest I found the film disappointing. It is a mish mash of Superman II, Independence Day and Star Trek (the previous one).

I think what mainly let's it down is the dialogue. It is basically bland and empty. Kevin Costner drones on saying the same thing in every scene he appears in. Amy Adams is utterly crap as Lois Lane and completely forgettable. Henry Cavill portrays Superman well enough but not as charismatically as Christopher Reeve probably because you don't see him in full Daily Planet Clark Kent mode until the very end. Russell Crowe is Russell Crowe but Michael Shannon makes an excellent General Zod.

The final battle scene is insanely OTT with Metropolis almost completely flattened which is ridiculous because Superman would avoid collateral damage. Thousands must have been slaughtered in the fall out but he doesn't seem to care.

This film could have been a lot better!

Rating: 6/10

Big Brother Archetypes No. 2

There is always a lesbian and at least two gay blokes.

No indication

And another thing that hacks me off is when you are driving and about to pull out of a side road and you are waiting for a gap in the traffic and then some stupid b*stard turns without indicating squandering your chance to pull out. GITS!

Rant over.

Big Brother Archetypes No. 1

There is always an aggressive black woman who complains, argues and hits someone and is thrown off the programme for intimidation (okay the throwing off bit hasn't happened yet on the latest series).

Murdoch divorce

I see the revolting Rupert Murdoch (aged 82) is divorcing his third wife, 38 years his junior, for whatever reason... but what I want to know is why did she marry the geriatric multi billionaire in the first place? Oh... okay... I seem to have answered my own question!

Rant over.

"Lego characters are getting angrier - and could be harming children's development"

"It's one of the few toys that's remained popular for more than a generation.

But even Lego characters have now come under fire after researchers found they are slowly becoming 'angrier'.

Christopher Bartneck, of New Zealand's University of Canterbury, has published research showing that Lego characters are becoming more conflict-oriented, and the human figures featured in Lego sets are getting angrier.

The study found that Lego figures most frequently feature happy or angry expressions, but since their introduction in 1975, the proportion of angry faces has been rising. 

The findings also raise questions about the role of the design of toys and its impact on children, say the researchers." -- Daily Mail website.

Is this bloke for real? Did someone commission and therefore pay this retarded tw*t to investigate angry faces on Lego men?? UNBELIEVABLE!!!

Rant over.

Useless sticker things...

What a waste of time those stickers are that you find on the backs of "Bitsa Wispa" or "Twirl Bites" packets that you use to seal the top down... bloody things never stay stuck properly and you always find they have pinged open when you go searching through the treats cupboard.

Rant over.

Public Inconvenience...

Why is it whenever you wash your hands after going for a p*ss in a public toilet... and you walk over to the hand dryers the first one you select NEVER works!?

Rant over.

Apprentice Archetypes No. 3

Every series there is a female contestant who complains about being talked all over and ignored by the others... and is therefore criticised for not being louder and standing up for themselves... TOUGH!!!

Apprentice Archetypes No. 2

The bone headed bozo who contributes bugger all but dips under the radar and escapes being fired until the very end.


Just had to post this... episode 4 (I think). What an ending! Jaime Lanister having his hand chopped off. Wow. Game of Thrones is the best programme on TV.

Rating: 10/10

Behind Enemy Lines

After god knows how many years I finally got around to watching Behind Enemy Lines on Sky One tonight. I knew it was bad but this was ridiculous. Owen whatshisface must of run 300 miles during the film. And the ending was abysmal!

Rating: 4/10