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Ares 1... The End

NASA's $500 million launcher missing just one thing: the rocket it was made for

"CAPE CANAVERAL, FLA. -- Anyone need a $500 million, 355-foot steel tower for launching rockets into space?
There's one available at NASA's Kennedy Space Center. Brand new, never been used.
The mobile launcher has been built for a rocket called the Ares 1. The problem is, there is not yet any such thing as an Ares 1 rocket -- and if the Obama administration has its way, there never will be.
President Obama's 2011 budget kills that rocket, along with the rest of NASA's Constellation program, the ambitious back-to-the-moon effort initiated under President George W. Bush.
People here were shocked when they heard the news last month. They were already facing the imminent retirement of the aging space shuttle, and the likelihood of thousands of layoffs in the contracting corps but many hoped to find a Constellation job, stay on site and essentially just switch badges.
Now suddenly, they're looking at no shuttle, no Ares 1, no NASA-owned spaceship of any kind in the near future. American astronauts for years to come will hitch rides to space on Russian rockets." -- The Washington Post

Read the rest of the article:

Blimey... that's it - no manned space missions by the US. Bit embarrassing innit?

"... we'll let you know... after the break!"

If blandness could be turned into human form it would undoubtedly manifest itself as: Philip Schofield. I can remember this bloke when he used to anchor the gaps between kids programmes on the BBC along with that glove puppet Gordon The Gopher. He was boring then... he is boring now. Yet another case of "what does this prat actually do?" He hosts TV programmes. But he has absolutely no character or charisma. He doesn't offend (although didn't he try and goad that retard Katona woman once?) He cannot sing, he doesn't really tell jokes... HE DOES NOTHING! And yet he gets paid a fortune for doing it. I cannot think of one redeeming feature he possesses. My god! How many rants have I made in a similar vein to this one?

Rant over.

Bloody 'ell... she's packed me hand luggage already!

The beauty of being married to an organised wife is that she packs your hand luggage for you... even if it mainly consists of stuff your sister-in-law wants!

Rant over.

Craig David unveiled as UN Goodwill Ambassador... seriously

"He was the biggest thing in UK R&B in the early noughties, then he was mocked merciliessly on an unfunny TV show for years and now, believe it or not, Craig David has become a United Nations Goodwill Ambassador.The singer is following in the footsteps of stars such as George Clooney, Angelina Jolie and, erm, Geri Halliwell by working with the UN.He will be lending his support to the global fight against the spread of tuberculosis - and appeared at UN HQ in New York yesterday to make his appointment public." -- AOL website

The mind boggles... it makes you wonder how this could come about. Do you apply for the job? Does someone select you? Did someone at the UN one day think... "I know lets get Craig David to be a Goodwill Ambassador!"


Couple jailed after bragging on TV

"A couple from Southern California couple who bragged on the Dr Phil TV show about making $100,000 (£66,300) by selling shoplifted toys on eBay have been sentenced to federal prison.
US District Court Judge Irma Gonzalez sentenced Matthew Eaton, 34, of San Marcos to 27 months in prison, while his wife, Laura Eaton, 27, was sentenced to a year. Both pleaded guilty to conspiracy to transport stolen property across state lines.
Matthew Eaton told the judge he regretted going on Dr Phil." -- MSN website

I bet he did!

Green Zone

Blimey... Matt Damon gets about. This time he is Roy Miller and he is hell bent on getting to the bottom of the Weapons of Mass Destruction mystery in Baghdad 2003. The film speeds along at a breakneck pace and Miller is not one to give up. The action is shot using a shaky cam and to be honest near the climax of the film it was so shaky I couldn't exactly follow what was going on. Like The Hurt Locker, I felt rather perplexed as there seemed to be no apparent commanding officer in charge of Matt Damon - so he could basically do what he damn well liked with no recriminations. Surely he would have been arrested long before? Watch this film and you'll see what I mean. Having said all that - it is a great film and well worth seeing.
Rating: 7.5/10

String Vests...

I thought the first Matrix film was great, but the other two were utterly incomprehensible... anyway I digress, I was finishing off a bottle of wine last night whilst watching The Matrix Revolutions on ITV2+1 or some such channel and I thought to me self... why are they all wearing string vests with big holes in them?


Pot belly?

"It's been a hectic couple of weeks for Cheryl Cole. Her husband Ashley was exposed as a cheater and the couple separated. Now, the Geordie singer has revealed the type of guy she'd like to be with next: a man with a pot belly!" -- MSN website
Yeah, okay, Cheryl... a man with a pot belly and a huge bank balance!
Rant over


Good to see that the local authorities believe in repairing the myriad of potholes that have appeared in all the roads since the bad weather. The amount of swerving you have to do to not knacker the suspension on your car is ridiculous... and when they do bother to "repair" the road surface it just seems to be a case of sending out a couple of monkeys with shovels and some tarmac. Then it rains and the holes appear again.

Rant over.

Couples Retreat

Rating: 0/10

District 9

I liked this film... I didn't think it was brilliant, but it was certainly entertaining. Sharlto Copley who plays the hero Wickus van der Merwe reminded me of a South African version of Rob Brydon. The way he spoke was very similar and I thought he was going to mention "my little smashers" at any minute. When the film started you don't feel a lot of sympathy for the aliens (or Wickus for that matter), however as the story progresses you really start routing for "Christopher" and his little alien child. The film of course is totally left open for a sequel... which I am not sure is warranted. All in all I thought it was highly original and it was very clever setting it in Johannesburg rather than some American city. The other actors / characters were not that great... but then apparently most of them weren't actors to begin with. Very good.

Rating: 8/10

Another rant about vacuum cleaners...

A while back I ranted about Dyson and his ridiculously overpriced vacuum cleaners... this time I want to rant about vacuum cleaners in general. Every Sunday it is my task to hoover the house (and yes we have a Hoover and not a soddin' Dyson)... but what really, really irks me is no matter how hard you go at it the bloody thing never seems to satisfactorily suck up bits off of the carpet, but as soon as the nozzle goes anywhere near clothes hanging on the dryer or on a clothes hanger... thwup! up the pipe it goes.
Rant over

The Laziest Countries in The World... No. 5 - Great Britain

Apparently Great Britain is officially the 5th laziest country in the world... behind the USA, Canada, Belgium etc.
Also, English men are amongst the worst lovers in the world because they are "too lazy".
I can't believe that!!!

Accident follows a close shave

"A woman driver caused a pile-up after becoming distracted while shaving her bikini line.
Megan Mariah Barnes, 37, crashed into the back of a truck in the Florida Keys after giving her ex-husband the wheel as she shaved her private parts.
Barnes was driving to meet her boyfriend in Key West and told police she wanted to be "ready for the visit," website reported." -- MSN website

Somebody is definitely making these stories up! Anyway why was the ex-husband in the car?


Katie Price in talks over movie

"Katie Price has revealed that she's in talks about making a movie based on her life.
The TV star, whose ups and downs are documented in various shows as well as autobiographies, is now looking to adapt her life story for the big screen.
She told GMTV: "I've got four autobiographies, well, they're four diaries. I've found a producer and he's already got three of them - I'm giving him the other one and that's what they're doing."
Katie, who is married to cage fighter and Celebrity Big Brother winner Alex Reid, refused to divulge who she would like to play her on screen.
"I'm not going to give any information, but I know it's going to be a mad film," she added." -- MSN website
UNBELIEVABLE!!!... "I know it's going to be a mad film" she says. Jeezus. Why is it I get the impression this is just bullshit so as she gets yet more publicity?
Rant over.

Films I'm Looking Forward To... No. 4 - The Expendables

Now... I am really looking forward to this one. Stallone, Li, Lundgren, Rourke and Statham. As well as cameos from Willis and Schwarzenegger. My only disappointments are that there will be no JCVD or Seagal. Damn!

The Return of Mr Whippy

I couldn't believe my ears the other day. The dulcet tones of an ice cream van could clearly be heard... and then it appeared Mr Whippy. Touting for business on a cold February afternoon. UNBELIEVABLE!!!

MoD to destroy future UFO reports

"The MoD has no opinion on the existence or otherwise of extra-terrestrial life. However, in over fifty years, no UFO report has revealed any evidence of a potential threat to the United Kingdom. Accordingly, and in order to make best use of Defence resources, we have decided that from the 1 December 2009 the dedicated UFO hotline answer-phone service and e-mail address will be withdrawn. MOD will no longer respond to reported UFO sightings or investigate them."
They go on to say that any reports (how will they be collected?) will be destroyed after 30 days so as they don't have to be released in the future... So... let me get this right. In the (admittedly unlikely) event that a UFO is encountered in the UK... The poxy Government ain't interested!!!
Says it all really.
Rant over.