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P Diddy... Puff Daddy... Tw*t Pratty more like


What a Grade-A prat. Who in their right mind calls themselves P Diddy, Diddy or Puff Daddy??? Mind you this moron is worth $350 million. I truly despair...
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E!

Unfortunately N likes watching E! News... this truly abhorant programme (and channel) is devoted to the mindless and terminally boring trivia concerning the vain "celebrity" tossers that populate Hollywood. I implore all of you out there to NOT watch it...

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PS. Ryan Seacrest is a w*nker - plus who has a soddin' name like Ryan Seacrest???

Rant over again.

Unpretty Vacant...

Look at the eyes... nothing behind them is there? I've seen smarter chimps...

Ricky and Bianca


Jeezus... wept... these two retards return to EastEnders. Zero acting ability and zero brain activity. Look at him... nothing behind the eyes! Not even a spark... Zilch! And look at her. What an ugly b*tch...
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Vic Reeves


Completely unfunny... doesn't even make me want to smile.
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Dismal England...

Fortunately I didn't see any of the France v England game last night... looks like I didn't miss anything judging by the reports. It makes you wonder is it simply because the players cannot be bothered. Has international football had its day? If a man as qualified and experienced as Capello cannot sort out the mess then one can only conclude that it must be player motivation... and the only thing that motivates the majority of players is MONEY!

Porkers...

A habit I have picked up whilst queing in traffic and looking in the rear view mirror is marvelling out how repulsive looking some people are. Today, after having dropped off N at work I noticed two huge bloaters crammed into a Fiat Panda. My god! The disagreeable look on the woman’s face! Mind you probably too difficult to get an accurate impression of expression as there was so much fat for her to peer through…

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More on Simon Cowell

I had the misfortune over the weekend of watching a programme about Simon Cowell's life story. The bit that astounded me was how he is considered a genius at coming up with ideas for TV programmes. They explained the history of Pop Idol (created by Simon Fuller) and how Cowell was employed as one of the judges. Then his move to the US for American Idol (also created by Simon Fuller). Then with a masterstroke of ingenuity Cowell nicked the idea and came up with The X-Factor and consequently had to appease Fuller with an out of court settlement. Where is there genius at copying someone else's idea? I know I'll come up with a quiz show where you answer 15 questions and if you get them all correct you win a million! Or... maybe I'll write a soap opera about a neighbourhood of people who live along a street somewhere in Salford. UNBLOODY BELIEVABLE!

Interestingly all his other attempts at coming up with another successful TV programme have failed. Cupid was one that they mentioned.

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No. 5 Fearne Cotton

If you ever have the misfortune to listen to this irritating woman you will have noticed how she always says she loves whatever or whoever she is talking about. Like Petits Filous - fake, fake, fake. Yet another mediocre "celebrity"...

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Petits Filous Adverts

Fake French yoghurt sh*t! What I utterly detest is the stupid exaggerated French accent... crap... crap... CRAP!

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No. 6 Simon Cowell

SORRY!!!!... I don't have an issue with this arsehole's judging ability... what I find fascinating is watching his whole body language and his unbelievable arrogance. If you ever watch American Idol or X-Factor you will see what I mean. Being a producer of both programmes he clearly likes to be the last judge to be quized... and of course revels in the fact that his opinion counts for more than the others. You will also notice that he likes reclining back in his seat with his arm draped across his neighbouring judge's seat back (Paula Abdul) showing that he is the dominant force. Anyway enough of the analysing... the guy is a complete tw*t!

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No. 7 Anne Robinson


Apparently this woman is worth £60 million... utterly incredible. The bulk of it coming from an astonishingly shit quiz show - which is unbelievably unfair. Let me see... hmmmm... I know the answers so I get knocked out. You are the weakest link... F*ck off!
Rant over.