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And here he is... MAD TRICYCLIST!!!!

Well done to my work colleague S for capturing this photo of Mad Tricyclist! Note that he has left his trailer at home...

Lloyds TSB

What's that advert about? Incredibly irritating music and Tim Burton-esque animation. Crap!

Rant over.

Note the expensive alloy wheels too!

Money well spent...

N and I were driving back from my mum's last Friday night after an excellent meal at The Spice Hut and as we passed through WGC town centre I noticed a couple of police cars patrolling the area... now my mind flashed back to how the local council breaksdown the council tax bills and shows the percentage increase that we have to contribute to policing. Why I hear you ask?... well the police cars were BMW 5 series estates or tourings as they call them. Why BMW 5 series eh? The basic models are around £34,000 each where as an equivalent Volvo V70 is about £26,000. So some tosser at Police HQ decides "I know we'll waste taxpayers money on overpriced BMW's" at least they indicate the sort of people who are attracted to working for the police... ie. W*nkers!

Rant over.

Belle de Rant

I see Billie Piper is in the TV adaptation of the Belle de Jour book/blog. I wonder if someone could make a TV adaptation of The Hammond Rants ?

Strange Denizens of WGC

I'm sure Welwyn Garden City is becoming more and more like Twin Peaks. For instance this morning I again saw Mad Cycling Woman making her way back along Digswell Road... where the hell does this woman go and why??? Dressed exactly the same each time I see her - she simply pedals back and forth getting in everyones way. Actually this leads me on to someone else... the utterly ridiculous and seriously insane Mad Tricyclist. I guarantee that if you travel the roads of WGC you will encounter this weirdo. With bonkers frizzy hair sticking out at all angles he rides precariously upon an ancient tricycle... with a trailer. This nutter perpetually has a queue of cars stuck behind him because he rides right down the middle of the road. I tried to get a photo of him this morning on my phone but failed and only managed to capture a portion of one of his wheels... however I intend to get a proper photo of this madman and put him on the blog.

Rant over.

CSI, Cold Case, Law & Order etc...

There are a myriad of these drama series around on TV these days. The same formulaic plot... someone murdered and a convoluted reason for the murderer to perpetrate the crime. Another thing I have noticed is the cast. Apart from the fact they are as uncharismatic as a duck's arse there is always a blonde woman working in tandem with an arrogant male investigator. In fact I'm convinced it is the same woman in each programme.

Rant over.

Deary, deary me...

Linda Lusardi

I must admit I quite often watch Emmerdale... never used to until recent years. Now the acting in this programme is of a low standard, however recently Linda Lusardi joined the cast and my god!... this woman must be one of worst actresses I have ever seen. She is appalling... my left foot could act significantly better. Dreadul. How did she get offered the job? Whoever auditioned her must be complete retard!

Rant over.

Who is this woman?

Nadine Baggott, Celebrity Beauty Editor

A beauty editor who is a celebrity? Or a beauty editor for celebrities? Sod off Baggott whoever the hell you are!

Rant over.

American Airlines

This lot must be utter morons. I know who shall we use to advertise us?... James Gandolfini aka Tony Soprano. Wow!... that's intelligent we'll use someone who plays a mafia boss to promote us. He even seems to be exactly the same as Tony Soprano in the ad. American Airlines - as used by the mafia. Retards!

Rant over.

3:10 to Yuma

You really can't beat going to the cinema when you want to watch a good film. A few weeks back I saw Transformers (which I forgot to review) and thought it was terrific... well at least the CGI effects were out of this world. Visually breathtaking, a stunning achievement. My rating for the film however for story, characters etc was 5/10. Effects 11/10!

Yesterday though I enjoyed an entirely different film. 3:10 to Yuma is a remake (what isn't these days) of a classic western (written by Elmore Leonard)... Russell Crowe and Christian Bale star and their acting is excellent. Crowe is brilliant as the ruthless leader of murderous gang of robbers and Bale matches him as the down trodden rancher who is determined to bring him in. Watch it and enjoy!

Rating: 8/10


Princess C (my niece) is 1 today! Have a Very Happy Birthday - I hope you received lots of presents!
Love from Uncle Mark xxx

PS. If you get to watch the rugby... make sure you support England and not the other team...

It's all the same...

Just had to post this... N and I sitting at home switching between channels watching England playing football and rugby - N says "I didn't know Ashley Cole played rugby as well!"... nearly fell off the sofa laughing... shame!

Tube Drivers - Scum of the Earth...

I can't find exactly what the pay scale is for a tube train driver but it seems apparent that it is well over £30,000 pa. What exactly do these arrogant tossers do? They hold down a handle and use a pedal and look down a tunnel... and that's it. They think they should have more, work less and have it all guaranteed - utterly UNBELIEVABLE!

It is about time that London Underground changes the trains to run automatically (as the Docklands Light Railway) and sack every last greedy, scumbag moron they employ that holds down a handle (can't even see why they are called drivers).

Rant over.

The World Athletics Championship 2007

N and I watched some of this over last weekend and I couldn't help thinking that the Great Britain Team will have its work cut out if it intends to do well in the medal stakes for the London 2012 Olympics - certainly in the track and field events. I checked out the medal table to see that we came tenth overall with 5 medals in total. For a country with a population in excess of 56 million people it (theoretically) really should be better. The Czech Republic, Germany and Australia all came higher. It was noticeable that we were missing from many of the events presumably because we have no one capable of qualifying. I can't ever recall having seen a British pole vaulter for instance!

I reckon the reasons for our poor showing are as follows... most young people have utterly no interest in it. Kids want fame and money and all the trappings that go with a sport such as football and you are never going to get it in track and field etc. It requires years of dedication and training to get to the top and very few kids can be arsed to do it. They want it now and they want it with little or no effort.

It's a shame. I'm sure the London Olympics will be extremely well presented, the stadia and facilities will be fantastic... but I really cannot see us being one of the leading countries.

The Gorilla / Cadburys Advert

What the hell is that about???!!!... Actually it doesn't matter because it is utterly brilliant. Why a gorilla? Why is he playing the drums? Why Phil Collins? Why not!

Rating 10/10

Today's News...

Wells-next-the-sea (Part 3)

I can recommend The Crown Hotel for it's food... however it's waitering staff are not quite up to the standard of it's restaurant. On Monday evening we had a superb dinner - one of the best I have ever eaten.

Tuesday morning we set off for home... how depressing!