CZJ gets a CBE

"Barely able to raise a smile, you'd never have guessed that just hours earlier Catherine Zeta-Jones had been the surprise recipient of a CBE.
Despite being named in the Queen's Birthday Honours List, the Welsh actress looked surprisingly glum as she took her dog for a walk in New York yesterday.
The 40-year-old, who insisted she was 'thrilled' with her award, has risen from domestic television to become a Hollywood star - but has not lived in the UK for over a decade, preferring the life of a sun-soaked tax exile." -- Daily Mail

WHY HAS THIS WOMAN BEEN AWARDED A CBE??? WHAT HAS SHE DONE?

Absolutely bloody disgusting - a crap actress who has shagged her way up the celebrity list to reach the top. All she has done is line her own pocket... AND SHE GETS A CBE. Utterly and totally despicable. And to cap it all she is a tax exile!!

Rant over.

Shut that bloody row up!!!

What I would like to know is why do South Africans insist on blowing these soddin' vuvuzelas? It's a constant drone reminiscent of a swarm of wasps buzzing in a confined space. It's not tuneful, it's not clever. IT'S BLOODY STUPID!!! SHUT IT!!!!!

Rant over.

Scapegoat

It makes you wonder that if BP was an American company we wouldn't be seeing all this desire "to kick ass". Obama you are a tosser... and if the coalition government believes there is a "special relationship" then they are more stupid than I previously thought.

Rant over.

"Making lots of money makes me happy..."

... says Jessica Alba. I BET IT DOES!!!

She then goes on about how her life is so great because of it, etc... etc... etc.

Okay, I have no problem with that. However it is how she concludes by saying: "Anyone out there who gets bullied should realise that they can take control of their lives and succeed." B*LL*CKS. It is possible but you need a huge dollop of luck. And you Jessica Alba have had outstanding success in your chosen field of acting because a) You look fabulous b) You were in the right place at the right time. Which to me is incredible luck.

I utterly detest it when successful people smugly tell us you make your own luck in life. TOTAL SH*TE.

Rant over.

Checking the reviews on Trip Advisor...

Okay I must admit that Trip Advisor can be pretty useful when checking out reviews of hotels etc... But why is it whenever you check you always, always, always get for the same hotel "5 stars - a great place to stay", "5 stars - fabulous service", "4.5 stars - highly recommended" and then... "1 star - sh*te, don't stay here", "1 star - walls are thin, can here people shagging in neighbouring room" - It makes you wonder if these people are staying in the same f*cking establishment?

Rant over.

The World's most boring car...

The Vauxhall Zafira is without a doubt the most boring looking car imaginable. Jeremy Clarkson summed mini-MPVs up in yesterday's Sunday Times (yeah... still reading it).

"Whenever I see a man in a mini-MPV, he is always a dork; a sad and tragic little weasel for whom life is a chore to be undertaken as quietly and as practically as possible. And women in mini-MPVs? For some reason, they have thin lips and are always very bossy."

My experience of women who drive Zafiras are that they are fat dollops who park outside our house to deliver their brats to the school at the end of our road!

Rant over.

Lemsip Comik

Honestly... this is getting surreal! Apparently the ousted Lib Dem MP is trying stand-up comedy as he searches for a new role. He said in today's Sunday Times: "I'm not bitter. I don't have resentment. I don't have self pity. I am uncertain about my future, though." He then goes on to describe how he went on to do a comedy routine in London and finishes off by saying "I am brand Lembit"

I am speechless!!!

Plug Ferdinand

So... old Plug Ugly is out of the England team. He does one bit of training and BAM! He's injured. I bet they don't send him home either... nice little earner for doing sod all isn't it? Look at that face though... ABSOLUTELY NOTHING GOING ON BEHIND THOSE EYES!!!

Rant over.

What Talent?

Seriously... I have just watched one of the semi-finals and I did not see anyone with any kind of talent. Some old bat singing in the style of Shirley Bassey, a couple of retards who did jerky movements in sort of unison and a troupe of girls dressed as skeleton pirates who did a dance routine. Total shite...

Rant over.

It's all about the money...

What redeeming feature does this specimen have? The answer of course is NONE! Everyday there seems to be a case featuring someone who's head is deep in the trough. That Lawes bloke for instance... "Oh, I didn't realise I couldn't thieve £40,000 worth of public money and give it to my boyfriend". D*ckhead.

Now that waste of space parasite Sarah Ferguson has been caught at it. "Give me £500,000 and I can get you in with my exhubby". And then when she gets caught and shamed by it she tries to wriggle off the hook and says she was in a "bad space". No you weren't - you are just highly embarrassed you have been caught out!!!

Rant over.