Mayday! Mayday!

I wonder if the sickeningly friendly Irish woman who is on hand to help you with your Kindle wears a GPS tracker like other Amazon employees to make sure they know where she is at all times?

Or is she on a zero hour contract? Not enough people press that Mayday button and they send her home so they don't have to pay her.

Of course the reason she is Irish is that the call centre is in Ireland so as to avoid paying any tax. Mind you she is probably employed by a third party contractor... and so it goes on!

Rant over.

Pertwee 2.0

So this is how Peter Capaldi will look as the new Doctor

I like it!

Shouldn't be allowed...

Unfortunately just caught a bit of Keeping Up With The Kardashians and to my disgust two of the vile specimens were driving a white Rolls Royce.

You would think Rolls Royce should vet the people that own their cars wouldn't you? I mean two talentless, moneygrabbing slags who constantly seek publicity must cheapen the brand mustn't they?

Rant over.

Birds of a Feather

Oh deary deary me... what a bucket of shite this resuscitated "comedy" programme is.

Why did they bring it back? It is soooo completely unfunny I just sat there with a stoney face. Whoever wrote it should be shot.

Rant over.

On a very sad and serious note I just wanted to say "Roger Lloyd Pack" you were a comedy genius and will be sorely missed. RIP.

Google... more money than sense?

"Google has announced plans to buy thermostat maker Nest Labs for $3.2bn (£2bn), continuing a string of recent acquisitions.

Google said the cash deal was expected to be completed in the next few months.

California-based Nest Labs was founded by two former Apple executives.

It produces a thermostat capable of learning user behaviour and working out whether a building is occupied or not, using temperature, humidity, activity and light sensors." -- BBC News website

Hang on!!!... Let me get this right. How the f*ck can a company that "makes" thermostats (I bet they're actually manufactured in China) be worth £2 billion? It doesn't make sense. And oh look quelle surprise... the two blokes who started it up used to work for Apple.

Just a thought... I bet the guys who came up with the Raspberry Pi aren't worth anywhere near that. And I would have thought that was a much better idea than a poxy thermostat. Can Google pay me a few million for this blog?

Rant over.

More on Fuller

When you dig deeper into this bloke's success the more it makes you think... Why is he successful? He now "manages" the Beckhams, Andy Murray, Lewis Hamilton and Will Young amongst others. But he didn't create their skills, creativity or fame. They were all accomplished individuals before he was involved. So isn't it a trifle arrogant of him to imply how great he is.

American Idol and Pop Idol are talent shows and talent shows have been around for years so he isn't exactly original is he?

Just remember Mr Fuller you wouldn't be anybody if you weren't leeching off the abilities of others... And making a shedload of cash in the process.

Rant over.

Simon Fuller

Just been listening in the car to a documentary on Radio 2 about Simon Fuller, so called entrepreneur and creator of Pop Idol and the very successful American Idol. Talk about bloody nauseating or what? And when it comes down to it what does he (or his company) do?

Make money out of other people's creativity (a lot of money in fact). But to hear him speak you think it was all down to him.

I will investigate him a bit further when I get a chance...

Rant not over.

PS Why does he look like Simon Cowell?

Fighting crocs...

Following on from getting your foot trapped in a giant clam... you also never see people fighting crocodiles anymore in films. Gone are the days when the intrepid hero (usually Tarzan) would dive in with his dagger and roll around wrestling with one of those massive reptilian monsters.

Sigh!

"Braced"

Why are the BBC and the newspapers obsessed with using the word braced all the time? Every report about the adverse weather is headlined with Britain braced against heavy rain etc.

It conjures images of people having to hang on to heavy objects to stop themselves being swept away.

Another overused word is battled also in connection with the weather... "Take that you fiendish wind and rain! En garde!!"

Can't they come up with something better?

Rant over.

Is Evander Holyfield mad?

What?... Apparently he has amassed a $231,000,000 fortune and now the former world heavyweight boxing champion is appearing alongside Lionel Blair on Celebrity Big Brother.

UNBELIEVABLE!

What a prat! 

Clammed up...

I tell you what you don't see very often in films these days... in fact I haven't seen it for years... and that is a diver swimming along the seabed and clumsily getting their foot trapped in a giant clam and frantically tugging at it to free themselves.

You used to see that sort of thing happen all the time in old films!

What happened to the good old days?