If blandness could be turned into human form it would undoubtedly manifest itself as: Philip Schofield. I can remember this bloke when he used to anchor the gaps between kids programmes on the BBC along with that glove puppet Gordon The Gopher. He was boring then... he is boring now. Yet another case of "what does this prat actually do?" He hosts TV programmes. But he has absolutely no character or charisma. He doesn't offend (although didn't he try and goad that retard Katona woman once?) He cannot sing, he doesn't really tell jokes... HE DOES NOTHING! And yet he gets paid a fortune for doing it. I cannot think of one redeeming feature he possesses. My god! How many rants have I made in a similar vein to this one?
Rant over.
The mind boggles... it makes you wonder how this could come about. Do you apply for the job? Does someone select you? Did someone at the UN one day think... "I know lets get Craig David to be a Goodwill Ambassador!"
WEIRD!
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I thought the first Matrix film was great, but the other two were utterly incomprehensible... anyway I digress, I was finishing off a bottle of wine last night whilst watching The Matrix Revolutions on ITV2+1 or some such channel and I thought to me self... why are they all wearing string vests with big holes in them?
Good to see that the local authorities believe in repairing the myriad of potholes that have appeared in all the roads since the bad weather. The amount of swerving you have to do to not knacker the suspension on your car is ridiculous... and when they do bother to "repair" the road surface it just seems to be a case of sending out a couple of monkeys with shovels and some tarmac. Then it rains and the holes appear again.
I liked this film... I didn't think it was brilliant, but it was certainly entertaining. Sharlto Copley who plays the hero Wickus van der Merwe reminded me of a South African version of Rob Brydon. The way he spoke was very similar and I thought he was going to mention "my little smashers" at any minute. When the film started you don't feel a lot of sympathy for the aliens (or Wickus for that matter), however as the story progresses you really start routing for "Christopher" and his little alien child. The film of course is totally left open for a sequel... which I am not sure is warranted. All in all I thought it was highly original and it was very clever setting it in Johannesburg rather than some American city. The other actors / characters were not that great... but then apparently most of them weren't actors to begin with. Very good.
Now... I am really looking forward to this one. Stallone, Li, Lundgren, Rourke and Statham. As well as cameos from Willis and Schwarzenegger. My only disappointments are that there will be no JCVD or Seagal. Damn!
