The host from Madame Zingara's...

The weird bald bloke with glittery teeth!

Cape Town VIII (Part 2)

Last night we dined at Madame Zingara's... which is a sort of burlesque/cirque du soleil type show with a drag act and weird bald bloke with glittery teeth and fake German accent hosting it.

I must admit I rather enjoyed it. I'm not particularly a fan of drag acts but the feats of strength and skill from the acrobatic acts were very impressive... especially the three Russian guys in the second photo. The food was good and the service in keeping with the whole style of the thing (our waiter was dressed as the Devil). If you are in Cape Town at anytime I would certainly recommend it!

Rating: 8/10

Cape Town VIII (Part 1)

First of all I must apologise for never completing last years series on Cape Town. I could put it down to not having time to update this blog or I could be truthful and admit that I was too lazy and never got around to it. Plus I'm not exactly sure how many people take the time to actually read my posts these days (unless I rant about Wendy Hurrel and her legion of friends/family)... anyway, I digress...

We arrived yesterday feeling utterly knackered, mainly because - as this is the second trip with the twins and them being a year older than last time they were less inclined to sleep on the plane (little "p" became a trifle hyper at midnight and couldn't get comfortable lying on her daddy). This year we decided to take a buggy with us as using the slings as we did last year was going to be too impractical. Anyway after being convinced that the gibbons that load the luggage were going to smash the City Jogger to bits I was delighted to see it come out intact at Cape Town International.

We emerged into a blaze of sunshine and 30 degree temperatures and made our way to the Hertz hire car desk. It is at this point I would urge people not to use Hertz car rental as they only employ retards. We had asked for two child seats and could we fit them into the car... or could anyone else at Hertz fit them. NO THEY COULDN'T... and they couldn't f*cking care less either. Sh*t service. Sh*t company. Don't use them!

At last we arrived at N's mom's (I detest the yank spelling they use here)... unloaded everything and fed the twins. I eventually got to shower just in time for a much needed lunch (we didn't get to eat breakfast inflight).

During the afternoon we went around to the B's for a spot of tea. N's and LAB's (my sister-in-law) cousins and aunt were visiting too, so they got to see the twins. We couldn't leave things too late as we had bathtime and dinner to get ready for our little ones... and by the time we had finished all that we were so tired we went to bed and promptly overslept by an hour and a half. Oh well!

To be continued...

Good grief... what a prat!

OMG!... What a dickhead the supremely talentless and utterly unqualified Masterchef judge Greg Wallace looks, dating some woman 22 years his junior. Mind you, I can't believe he is 48... more like 58.

Rant over.

Tax avoidance on a gigantic scale...

It is staggering the lack of corporation tax paid by big name UK companies. Take a company like Vodafone for instance. According to research by the Daily Mail, although it made profits of £9.5 billion it didn't pay any corporation tax whatsoever. In fact on the contrary it received a tax credit of £4 million because it is still paying off the money it paid for a 3G licence some years back. It may well be legal to do this, but it is utterly immoral. Name and shame the b*st*rds is what I say!!

Rant over.

Taxi drivers...

You'd think that sitting behind the wheel all day would lead to decent driving? Not if you're a taxi driver in our area. Just today, I was unfortunately following one and the stupid ignorant b*st*rd was wandering all over the place crossing over the lane markings with no consideration. They have a reluctance to give way at roundabouts and they cut off corners... like the binmen a chimpanzee could do a better job!

"Excuse me driver... 23 Acacia Avenue"

"Ooh ooooh ooooh banana"

Rant over.

F*ckwit No.2

So... that repellantly ugly b*stard Michael "Only I know what's best for schools" Gove has suffered a humiliating climbdown on his plans for overhauling GCSEs.

GOOD!!!... serves the tosser right. All he needs to do now is wear a paper bag over his head.

Rant over.

That's progress for you...

Sir Terry Leahy, former boss of supermarket giant Tesco, admitted on Radio 4's Desert Island Discs that though he was sad about the demise of high street shops in Britain he believed it was still progress to have out of town superstores... so in other words f*ck the poor b*st*rds who have lost their jobs and all praise the wonder of Tesco.

Arrogant git.

Rant over.

Jug Ears gets the tube...

My god... those toadying w*nkers fawning around "Prince" Charlie and his horse face wife (what a beauty eh?) as they took a one stop journey on the underground, celebrating its 150th anniversary. What the f*ck was that about? The last time he travelled on it was 33 years ago.

"Is this what you common people travel on?"... and with that the inbreeds were off in their armour plated Bentley. What a PR disaster!

Rant over.

HS2

It makes me laugh when I read about all the reasons the protestors make to NOT construct this new railway line. When it comes down to it, all most of them are concerned about is the value of their property. Which is understandable... so don't bleat on about the environment!

Rant over.