Noooooo!!!!... How does Opik do it? How??

I am speechless... How is it possible that this ugly useless f*cker manages to bag himself these women? Or is he paying them to appear with him to cultivate this image? Here he is with his latest... some 21 year old bimbo!

Rant over.

"Bootiful!"

I tell you what I find obnoxious... that's people who name their companies after their full name. Not just their surnames or two people's surnames - BUT their full name ie. Bernard Matthews. Shows utterly no imagination whatsoever and underlines an immense ego which demonstrates they believe they know better than the lowlifes that work for them. AND to make it even worse they appear in their own TV adverts - mind you that was years ago. I seem to remember reading that Bernard Matthews was a total b*st*rd to work for. Paid pittance and the of course product was sh*t. Anyway I'm sure there are a few Turkey's that will be happy at the moment... though not for long as I suppose they will be off to be electrocuted and plucked soon!

Rant over.

Guess who?

"Age: 45 Occupation: Comedian Phobias: Tarantulas Special skills: Wooing the ladies Supporters: Nick Clegg Former MP Lembit believes working in parliament has provided him with the best possible training to cope in the jungle.


“The best preparation I have had for this has been the House of Commons – which is a jungle without the trees!” reveals Lembit, who lost his seat in this year’s General Election.

Still, Lembit’s looking to make up for past losses by winning over the public in the jungle. “I am competitive,” he admits. ”There is no point going into a competition if you don’t aim to win. This isn’t an election, but it would be nice given what happened to me in the last General Election, to at long last win a vote. That would mean a lot to me. I am playing to win, and all I can do is my best. I will accept the public’s verdict.”

But will the public accept him? Tune in to find out." -- Celebrity Get Me Out of Here website

TIT

I can't help thinking...

...with the Irish economy currently f*cked and half it's population considering emigration to New Zealand or Australia (like rats leaving the sinking ship) - now must be time to snap up all those cheap empty houses that litter the country. Mind you I'm sure Sarah Beeney is already there doing just that. Capitalise on people's misery eh?

Also... I can understand the reasons why the UK is contributing £7 billion to help Ireland - but somehow I can't help wondering that if the boot was on the other foot then the Irish wouldn't even p*ss on us to put the fire out. 

Rant over.

Son of Jug Ears to marry bone idle offspring of mail order company millionaire owners

I couldn't give a sh*t about a royal engagement... but one thing that piqued my interest was reading Wikipedia's entry on Kate Middleton. Her father was an airline pilot and her mother a flight attendant - they then started up a mail order company called Party Pieces that sells stuff for parties (yawn!). They are millionaires. That last sentence is the key. What if the Wikipedia entry had read - they started up a mail order company that went straight down the toilet (because it was such a boring and unoriginal idea) and ended up bankrupt. Bet f*ck face Wills wouldn't have been interested then... or more importantly Queenie and Phil "The Greek" would have put a stop to it. Actually there wouldn't have been a Wikipedia entry would there?

I like the bishop that said the marriage wouldn't last... because the royal family are a bunch of philanderers.

Rant over.

Why Peter Kay?



I used to like Peter Kay. Phoenix Nights was funny. Max and Paddy the spin off series was funny. But now the fat smug northern git seems to be everywhere... AND what the f*ck has he got to do with advertising M&S? I can understand models such as Twiggy featuring in their ads but why a tubby twat like him?? He's not even funny in it either. Bet he received a nice fat cheque though. UNBELIEVABLE!

Rant over.

Mad Marco...

Years ago I remember reading an article that said if you were dining at one of Marco Pierre White's restaurants and you happened to order something inappropriate... he'd storm out of his kitchen and threaten to gut you with his meat cleaver (actually can you gut someone with a meat cleaver? On thinking about it maybe he'd lop your b*ll*cks off with it instead). Anyway I digress... what's that sh*te advert about - featuring MPW and a group of old biddy's which culminates with them giving him the thumbs up as he seeks their approval for his gravy. The arrogant b*st*rd wouldn't give a f*ck what they thought of his soddin' gravy!!! What a load of cr*p.

Rant over.

The Walking Dead

This programme is superb... although why on Earth it is confined to the FX channel beats me. Never have I enjoyed a new series so much - maybe not since the pilot episode of Lost. For the uninitiated it follows the survivors of a zombie apocalypse - okay admittedly it starts off a bit like 28 Days Later with the hero waking up from a coma in hospital only to find all hell has broken loose in the world. I particular liked the scene in episode 2 where to sneak past the walkers (zombies) they have chop up one of the undead and cover themselves in the all the gore and entrails from the corpse... only that way can they smell like one of the dead and they then have to shuffle down the street past hordes of zombies. Great stuff!

Rating: 9/10

"The Fallen Herald" by Simon P. Edwards

March 2010 saw the publication of a brilliant new fantasy novel by the cutting edge British author Simon P. Edwards. The Fallen Herald is Book 1 in the Heaven's War series and takes place on the mythical world of Rune which unfolds as a backdrop to an array of heroic characters whose destinies are entwined in an epic story of tragedy and revenge.

The book is a terrific read... but don't take my word for it! Below are some reviews taken from Amazon:

5* Refreshingly original

'This is one of the best fantasy books i have read in a long time - refreshingly original, grabs you from page one. Simon P Edwards is up there with Tad williams and J V Jones.'


5* A must read!


'Like the title says, a must read. I have read hundreds of fantasy novels and this is up there in my top 10. The way Simon has created this world and managed to explain the mythology and characters without over complicating the story is a refreshing change of pace in what can sometimes be an overly complicated part of reading epic fantasy books.


Moving to the story I'm not going to spoil anything just to say the multiple story lines all run well together. The world Simon has created is brilliantly crafted, living gods, immortal beings, fantasy creatures and of course the humans. What more could you want.'


5* The best read I have had in a very long time!


'I bought this book after meeting the author at a book signing, and could not put it down once I started reading. The characters are three dimensional and very well fleshed out, so much so you really find yourself caring about them, and the story is just amazing. The amazing thing is, I am not a major fantasy fan, but this book demands that you read it until the very end, such is the quality of the story. If you like fantasy novels, you need to own this, but so will many other readers too.'

You can read more reviews or purchase The Fallen Herald from Amazon if you click on the following link:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Fallen-Herald-Book-Heavens-War/dp/1449024947/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1289118494&sr=1-1

If you would like to read Chapters 1 & 2 then click on the following link:

http://thefallenherald.com/chapters1-2.pdf

And finally if you would like to learn more about the book and its author then click on the following link:

http://www.thefallenherald.com/

PIGS