Name someone from Bahrain

I see Bahrain had two entrants in the women's 5000 metres... except they were actually from Ethiopa! Has an actual native from Bahrain ever done anything apart from write a cheque and get some other f*cker to do it for them? Utterly ridiculous... same as the UAE. Contribution to the world = a big fat zero.

Rant over.

Double-barrelled

Just been watching the women's 100m sprint final and couldn't help noticing all the double-barrelled names. What's all that about? Sanya Ross-Richards? Somebody Fraser-Price, Ujamaflip Campbell-Brown.

I suppose it was the legendary FloJo (Florence Griffiths-Joyner) who spawned all this. It clearly seems to be a prerequisite to success... either that or they're all copying one another. Retards.

Rant over.

Fifty Shades of Sh*te

I find it incredible how this book has become so successful because the quality of the writing is sh*t of the highest order. Alright... I'll admit I've only skimmed through it and that has been to hunt out the shagging scenes which are quite numerous and actually quite boring and poorly described.

However what really grates on me (and this goes for any novel) is the way the writer drops in product names... eg."She pulled on her Calvin Kleins and a pair of Converses" or "He slid into the driving seat of his BMW 328i M Sport. Why the hell do you need to specify the exact model or make of anything? Rubbish. And in the case of Fifty Shades it has made E L James exceptionally wealthy.

Rant over.

Off The Cuff Rant No.15

Usain Bolt is a pretty nifty and highly appropriate name. Yohan Blake is a bit daft when it comes to the spelling but it does roll off the tongue. Tyson Gay however is simply f*cking ridiculous. Why on earth would you keep such a stupid contradictory name? Retard.

Rant over.

I'm pleased to say I was wrong...

Six gold medals in one day - that was simply incredible. Jessica Ennis, Greg Rutherford, Mo Farah and all the others... YOU WERE ALL ABSOLUTELY BLOODY BRILLIANT!!!

Wiggo is God!

The Hammond Rants salutes Bradley Wiggins!!!

Lack of medals...

I can't help thinking it is highly unlikely that Team GB is going to achieve anything like it's previous Olympic medal tally. You can sense a slight degree of panic in the reporting.

When anyone is interviewed (for instance former double gold medallist Rebecca Adlington) and they say they were happy with their performance and result you can't help thinking "lying toad... you're gutted!"

Rant over.

The Dark Knight Rises

I can't believe four years have elapsed since The Dark Knight was released to worldwide acclaim... and I think everyone was expecting this film to be at least equal if not superior to it's predecessor. And to my mind it isn't. Where I feel it goes wrong is mainly in the latter stages. The film jumps along too quickly and you are left thinking "how did that person get from A to B so fast?" and "how did he recover so rapidly?"

For me those things spoilt a well made film. The acting is very good all round and Ann Hathaway surprised me as being an exceptional Catwoman (although she is never referred to as Catwoman). Christian Bale turns in another great performance as Batman but it is Tom Hardy as the frightening Bane who shines however I did struggle to hear what he was saying at times as his voice is muffled thanks to the mask he wears over his mouth.

I suppose when I think about it more I was disappointed with the film but that was probably due to how incredible the second film was (especially Heath Ledger). At least The Dark Knight Rises has a conclusion which will mean the next Batman movie will be a reboot or re-imagining with a new cast and director.

Rating: 7.5/10

Did you really Fearne?

I've ranted before about this vapid non-entity... but I can't help mention a reference she made on the radio today. She made a casual comment about not being able to get some tune out of her head - even after 10 minutes in to watching The Dark Knight Rises the previous night. Which of course meant she was at the film's premiere... because it isn't out on release yet.

Look at me... it's all about me... I'm soooo wonderful and sooooo famous.

F*CK OFF FEARNE!


Rant over.

G4S

Wasn't this useless G4S outfit the same useless outfit that used to lose prisoners that were being transported to prison some years back... except they were called simply Group 4 then?

Pocketing hundreds of millions in taxpayers money and f*cking it up completely all the time seems to be this useless company's speciality and yet still they are handed plum public sector contracts. What I would also like to know is what is going to happen to the f*ckwit that awarded this contract to them and how exactly they came to such a colossal figure?

Rant over.