Answer Phone Messages

What I find amazing are the amount of wrong number answer phone messages we get. "Hi you're through to M and N's voicemail please leave your message after the tone - beeeeep... "Hello I'm calling to make an appointment for an eye test" or "Good morning, I'm phoning on behalf of Paula as she cannot come in today" - Don't they sodding well listen to the message? Bloody retards.

Rant over.

Neighbours II

Today the bald headed shortwearing w*nker next door had his equally obnoxious vile family around for a barbecue. Before the rain started I tried to sneak a photo from the spare room window - which was a bit risky as I did run the risk of being caught. Fortunately I didn't, but then I didn't get a very good photo. If I had you would have seen the flabby jowel faced fat scum van driver son / son-in-law (not sure which) sitting there feeding the repulsive hole in the middle of its fat face with a hamburger. Seated next to him was his shaven headed brethren and his obese troll-like wife, who continuously visit and block the access to our driveway. Baldy wasn't within my line of sight however I could hear him speaking... which is usually the case as Baldy's voice permeates all walls no matter how thick. I despise these people so much it is difficult to explain. They are what I detest about British people. Oh and just to put the final nail in the coffin one of the offspring drives an '03 BMW 3-series convertible. Sums it up really.

Rant over.

The Antique Roadshow

My last posting got me thinking about another TV programme - The Antiques Roadshow can sometimes be quite interesting. I like the way the experts give their analysis of some old codgers heirloom, marvelling at the quality. The codger sits there saying "really... yes it is exquisite" secretly pleading for the expert to announce their valuation - and then the bit I love the expert says "As for what it is worth... I would say in the region of hmmm... 20p!!!" Yes yes yes... I love the look of disappointment on the codgers face when they discover their treasure is worth sod all. Ha ha. Tough luck codger!

Rant over.

Cash in The Attic

I really don't understand how people can auction off family items that have been treasured for years... "Yes this has been in our family for 80 years - my grandmother gave it to my mother who passed it onto me... now I'm gonna sell it so as I can go on a two week holiday to Disney World" eh??? I could never sell something that I've had for years. Perhaps I'm a horder - okay I know I'm definitely a horder but no way would I do that. To make matters worse the items these people usually sell go for about £2.50!

Rant over.

The Dark Knight

Well... what can I say! I saw the latest Batman outing yesterday at the Odeon Galeria. Absolutely brilliant!! Christian Bale, Heath Ledger and Aaron Eckhart were superb. The film is very violent especially the scene where Batman beats the crap out of The Joker at the police station... literally kicking him in the head whilst on the ground through sheer frustration. What is clever is that there is nothing Batman can do about The Joker - he simply doesn't care as he is a total anarchist. The film has no happy ending which is great and it is a terrible tragedy that we won't get to see Heath Ledger play The Joker ever again. A true classic and one of... if not the best comic based films I have ever seen. Fabulous!

Rating: 9/10

The Saga of Lemsip Toxik continues...

Cheeky Girl Gabriela Irimia has dumped her politician fiance Lembit Opik after a series of blazing rows. Gabby reportedly told a friend "I can't handle it anymore. This is not a proper relationship. I want some space" -- Star Magazine.

This is the third time this berk has featured on my blog. Utterly bizarre - what an absolute Grade A prat!!! Look at his face... how could anyone vote for him?

Rant over.

8 out of 10 people think this bloke is...

... a completely unfunny TW*T. Jimmy Carr is rubbish - 100% total talentless GARBAGE!

Rant over

Virgin Atlantic... John Hannah

An irksome advert on TV is the John Hannah / Virgin Atlantic one. Ah yes how I would enjoy the limousine service to the airport and the exclusivity of the Upper Class Lounge where I could relax and have a drink and then make my way through the fast-track private security channel onto the plane where I could lie down on my comfortable bed. Unfortunately I don't have £58,000,000,000,000 to lavish on a flight. The only people who make use of this service - apart from the super rich are people who work for companies that hand out perks by the shedload because their immediate bosses have to justify their own perks. Not that I'm bitter as working in the printing industry you become used to being treated like sh*t, dealing with the most ignorant customers imaginable and working for scum who have their hands in the company pocket. Now I'm rambling...

Rant over.

Fake Smiles...

Just watching Big Brother as I write this post... and Mario has been evicted. All smiles and everything - I bet he is gutted. No £100,000 for him. Ha ha. Good grief I cannot believe I am commenting on this programme.

Neighbours I - Independence Day

"In the United States, Independence Day, commonly known as the Fourth of July, is a federal holiday commemorating the adoption of the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776, declaring independence from the Kingdom of Great Britain. Independence Day is commonly associated with fireworks, parades, barbecues, carnivals, picnics, concerts, baseball games, political speeches and ceremonies, and various other public and private events celebrating the history, government, and traditions of the United States."

Then why the hell (as I write this in fact!) are our neighbours having a party in their back garden bedecked with the American flag and garbed in American fancy dress? What is all that about?? I know - lets celebrate the day Britain was booted out of Yankland. Why the blue blazes are British people celebrating a day that was a downer for their own country. I suspect they are so thick they don't even know the significance. RETARDS!

Rant over.