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Dismal England...

Fortunately I didn't see any of the France v England game last night... looks like I didn't miss anything judging by the reports. It makes you wonder is it simply because the players cannot be bothered. Has international football had its day? If a man as qualified and experienced as Capello cannot sort out the mess then one can only conclude that it must be player motivation... and the only thing that motivates the majority of players is MONEY!

Porkers...

A habit I have picked up whilst queing in traffic and looking in the rear view mirror is marvelling out how repulsive looking some people are. Today, after having dropped off N at work I noticed two huge bloaters crammed into a Fiat Panda. My god! The disagreeable look on the woman’s face! Mind you probably too difficult to get an accurate impression of expression as there was so much fat for her to peer through…

Rant over.

More on Simon Cowell

I had the misfortune over the weekend of watching a programme about Simon Cowell's life story. The bit that astounded me was how he is considered a genius at coming up with ideas for TV programmes. They explained the history of Pop Idol (created by Simon Fuller) and how Cowell was employed as one of the judges. Then his move to the US for American Idol (also created by Simon Fuller). Then with a masterstroke of ingenuity Cowell nicked the idea and came up with The X-Factor and consequently had to appease Fuller with an out of court settlement. Where is there genius at copying someone else's idea? I know I'll come up with a quiz show where you answer 15 questions and if you get them all correct you win a million! Or... maybe I'll write a soap opera about a neighbourhood of people who live along a street somewhere in Salford. UNBLOODY BELIEVABLE!

Interestingly all his other attempts at coming up with another successful TV programme have failed. Cupid was one that they mentioned.

Rant over.

No. 5 Fearne Cotton

If you ever have the misfortune to listen to this irritating woman you will have noticed how she always says she loves whatever or whoever she is talking about. Like Petits Filous - fake, fake, fake. Yet another mediocre "celebrity"...

Rant over.

Petits Filous Adverts

Fake French yoghurt sh*t! What I utterly detest is the stupid exaggerated French accent... crap... crap... CRAP!

Rant over.

No. 6 Simon Cowell

SORRY!!!!... I don't have an issue with this arsehole's judging ability... what I find fascinating is watching his whole body language and his unbelievable arrogance. If you ever watch American Idol or X-Factor you will see what I mean. Being a producer of both programmes he clearly likes to be the last judge to be quized... and of course revels in the fact that his opinion counts for more than the others. You will also notice that he likes reclining back in his seat with his arm draped across his neighbouring judge's seat back (Paula Abdul) showing that he is the dominant force. Anyway enough of the analysing... the guy is a complete tw*t!

Rant over.

No. 7 Anne Robinson


Apparently this woman is worth £60 million... utterly incredible. The bulk of it coming from an astonishingly shit quiz show - which is unbelievably unfair. Let me see... hmmmm... I know the answers so I get knocked out. You are the weakest link... F*ck off!
Rant over.

40 is the new 30

As I write this post I have approximately 35 or so days until my 40th birthday. It just shows you how quickly time passes. I can vividly remember being a kid and doing the mental arithmetic to calculate that I would be 32 in the year 2000... and here I am 8 years on from that date that seemed such a long way off. But hey... all of us are getting older.

Friday evening was spent at "The White Horse" pub in Old Welwyn followed by a curry at "The Sagar" Indian restaurant accompanied by 4 work colleagues (actually 2 of them are former work colleagues). What's this got to do with approaching 40 I hear you ask?... well it made me realise that after 4 pints and a gin and tonic I now realise when to stop drinking. Older and wiser? Maybe.

24 hours later - N and I went to a joint 40th birthday celebration at the Social Club in Bricket Wood. There were a few people there that I hadn't seen for about 20 years and at one point it took me 3 or 4 seconds to realise who one guy was. Lack of hair catches you unawares. One frightening observation was the fact that virtually all the blokes there were wearing similar striped shirts including myself. Embarrassing? Well I would say the observer was wearing some ridiculous braces so I don't feel to bad!

Sunday morning and I spoke to my sister-in-law to wish her a happy 30th birthday... and of course reminded her that for 30 odd days we would be in the same decade...

Cloverfield

Godzilla meets The Blair Witch Project .... hmmmm... maybe a bit. Actually I was a little bit disappointed with the film and after coming out of the cinema I realised why. The characters were the problem... too two dimensional and to be quite honest I couldn't give a toss about them. Having said that the tension was good and it was the right thing to do in only letting you get glimpses of the monster. It looked very realistic and it was a great idea in that you were as much in the dark as the characters. The "little" monsters were reminiscent of the bugs from Starship Troopers. Well worth seeing!

Rating: 8/10

No. 8 DFS Adverts

"Hurry, sale ends soon!.... " Do these retards think we are bloody stupid? DFS perpetually have a sale on. But wait a bit - could it be that they call their normal prices "on sale prices". We make up a few fake prices put a slash through it, then another made up number with another slash through it and call it some utterly meaningless thing such as a double discount. Total BULLSHIT!

Another thing... on their adverts the sofas are always shown in some huge flash room. If you had a house that size you wouldn't buy their cheap shit.

Rant over.