Rise of The Planet of The Apes

After having bought the DVD a couple of years ago I finally got around to watching Rise of The Planet of The Apes two weekends ago.

So coming straight to the point - the human characters headed up by James Franco are rather bland and unsympathetic whereas the simian characters headed up by a mo-capped Andy Serkis as Caesar, the hyper intelligent chimpanzee are significantly more interesting.

The special effects are good but still look noticeably computer generated and the apes move too quickly in my opinion. The story is daft to say the least and there are a couple of scenes that are too contrived and are there simply to forward the plot. There are a couple of unsubtle references to the Charlton Heston original and a subplot that introduces us to the events that create the forthcoming Dawn of The Planet of The Apes. I actually thought it was going to be better than it was but having said all that it is certainly watchable.

Rating: 7/10

Very funny!

I thought this was highly amusing... Some people are exceptionally quick off the mark!!

Center Parcs - Elveden Forest

Last week we stayed for four nights (Monday to Friday) at Center Parcs Elveden Forest in Suffolk. To be honest I was unsure whether I was going to enjoy it as I am more a city break person but with twin 2 1/2 year old daughters we thought it would be ideal... And it was!

When you arrive at the main gate you are checked in, given a sticker to affix to your rear view mirror and the keys to your lodge. You then drive for what seems an age through the huge car park and then on a one way route through a forest of trees until you eventually reach your lodge (No. 824 in our case). We paid £50 extra to be close to the “Village Square” as we didn't want to undertake a long walk all the time with the girls.

Of course most people get around by bicycle which can be pain in the arse if you are a pedestrian because you seem to be dodging bikes all the time.

The the water park is situated in the Sports Plaza in the Village Square and is very impressive. There is the main pool which is themed like a tropical beach and has a wave machine that kicks in every half an hour, a lagoon which is pleasantly heated to 30 Celsius and a toddler/children's section called Venture Cove which has a variety of slides and water fountains. All of it is very well done and is free to use (all other activities cost extra).

There is an expensive supermarket which exploits it's advantage of having a captive audience and a collection of restaurants which are similarly priced more than their equivalents on the outside. We dined at Cafe Rouge and Hucks (American style diner) both of which were quite reasonable. The remainder of our stay we ate at our lodge including a barbecue (the disposable variety).

The quality and decor of our lodge was very good and we were pleased to discover the kitchenette was equipped with a dishwasher (we do not have one at home). The rooms were large and there was a bathroom with WC and also a separate WC. The only trivial issue we had was that we only had one proper cot instead of two (even though we had requested two) but this was easily remedied after a call to guest services.

The girls enjoyed the fun zone and also a teddy bears picnic which culminated with an appearance from Rupert Bear.

Unfortunately the holiday passed all too quickly but I reckon we will definitely go again. The main downside is that it is a very expensive to stay there... especially when restricted to school holiday times.

Rating: 9/10

Tattooed chavs of Center Parcs

Don't get me wrong I think Center Parcs is pretty good. Everything you want is within the woodland complex. It's expensive (ridiculously so during school holidays), but it is great for families with kids. But one thing that repels me about the place is the number of tattooed chavs which you notice at the swimming pool. Half the blokes and the women are adorned with so called body "art". And it looks pathetic. Bleurgghhhh!

Rant over.

Mel B... What?... Why?

"As of July 2013, Brown's net worth is estimated to be $85 million approximately." -- Wikipedia

There is truly something wrong in the world... How the hell is this possible?

Rant over.

Ironing boards

Not that I do any ironing in our house (because I am useless at it)... but why is it whenever I try to put up an ironing board I can never get it to stand at the right height. Too high or too low every bloody time.

Rant over.

Zoo worker in gorilla suit shot with tranquiliser dart during 'escape drill' because no-one told the vet it wasn't real

A vet shot a tranquiliser dart at a zoo employee dressed as a gorilla after mistaking him for a primate. 

The 35-year-old zoo employee was shot on Monday at Loro Parque Zoo on the Spanish island of Tenerife.

Staff at the zoo were taking part in a drill designed to ensure they had an emergency plan in place in case one of the gorillas escaped its enclosure.

But the vet had not been informed of the training exercise, and fearing that there was a gorilla on the loose he sprang into action, according to La Opinión de Tenerife and shot the poor b*st*rd in the leg.

You have got be f*cking kidding me!!!... I bet he didn't go to Specsavers.

Rant over

Dawn of The Planet of The Apes Poster

I still haven't got around to seeing Rise of The Planet of The Apes which is ridiculous because I bought the DVD ages ago... but this poster and the trailer have really piqued my interest in this second film. I like the throw back to the imagery from the seventies TV series with the ape holding the gun horizontally above his head.

Will definitely see this one!