Noooooo!!!!... How does Opik do it? How??

I am speechless... How is it possible that this ugly useless f*cker manages to bag himself these women? Or is he paying them to appear with him to cultivate this image? Here he is with his latest... some 21 year old bimbo!

Rant over.

"Bootiful!"

I tell you what I find obnoxious... that's people who name their companies after their full name. Not just their surnames or two people's surnames - BUT their full name ie. Bernard Matthews. Shows utterly no imagination whatsoever and underlines an immense ego which demonstrates they believe they know better than the lowlifes that work for them. AND to make it even worse they appear in their own TV adverts - mind you that was years ago. I seem to remember reading that Bernard Matthews was a total b*st*rd to work for. Paid pittance and the of course product was sh*t. Anyway I'm sure there are a few Turkey's that will be happy at the moment... though not for long as I suppose they will be off to be electrocuted and plucked soon!

Rant over.

Guess who?

"Age: 45 Occupation: Comedian Phobias: Tarantulas Special skills: Wooing the ladies Supporters: Nick Clegg Former MP Lembit believes working in parliament has provided him with the best possible training to cope in the jungle.


“The best preparation I have had for this has been the House of Commons – which is a jungle without the trees!” reveals Lembit, who lost his seat in this year’s General Election.

Still, Lembit’s looking to make up for past losses by winning over the public in the jungle. “I am competitive,” he admits. ”There is no point going into a competition if you don’t aim to win. This isn’t an election, but it would be nice given what happened to me in the last General Election, to at long last win a vote. That would mean a lot to me. I am playing to win, and all I can do is my best. I will accept the public’s verdict.”

But will the public accept him? Tune in to find out." -- Celebrity Get Me Out of Here website

TIT

I can't help thinking...

...with the Irish economy currently f*cked and half it's population considering emigration to New Zealand or Australia (like rats leaving the sinking ship) - now must be time to snap up all those cheap empty houses that litter the country. Mind you I'm sure Sarah Beeney is already there doing just that. Capitalise on people's misery eh?

Also... I can understand the reasons why the UK is contributing £7 billion to help Ireland - but somehow I can't help wondering that if the boot was on the other foot then the Irish wouldn't even p*ss on us to put the fire out. 

Rant over.

Son of Jug Ears to marry bone idle offspring of mail order company millionaire owners

I couldn't give a sh*t about a royal engagement... but one thing that piqued my interest was reading Wikipedia's entry on Kate Middleton. Her father was an airline pilot and her mother a flight attendant - they then started up a mail order company called Party Pieces that sells stuff for parties (yawn!). They are millionaires. That last sentence is the key. What if the Wikipedia entry had read - they started up a mail order company that went straight down the toilet (because it was such a boring and unoriginal idea) and ended up bankrupt. Bet f*ck face Wills wouldn't have been interested then... or more importantly Queenie and Phil "The Greek" would have put a stop to it. Actually there wouldn't have been a Wikipedia entry would there?

I like the bishop that said the marriage wouldn't last... because the royal family are a bunch of philanderers.

Rant over.

Why Peter Kay?



I used to like Peter Kay. Phoenix Nights was funny. Max and Paddy the spin off series was funny. But now the fat smug northern git seems to be everywhere... AND what the f*ck has he got to do with advertising M&S? I can understand models such as Twiggy featuring in their ads but why a tubby twat like him?? He's not even funny in it either. Bet he received a nice fat cheque though. UNBELIEVABLE!

Rant over.

Mad Marco...

Years ago I remember reading an article that said if you were dining at one of Marco Pierre White's restaurants and you happened to order something inappropriate... he'd storm out of his kitchen and threaten to gut you with his meat cleaver (actually can you gut someone with a meat cleaver? On thinking about it maybe he'd lop your b*ll*cks off with it instead). Anyway I digress... what's that sh*te advert about - featuring MPW and a group of old biddy's which culminates with them giving him the thumbs up as he seeks their approval for his gravy. The arrogant b*st*rd wouldn't give a f*ck what they thought of his soddin' gravy!!! What a load of cr*p.

Rant over.

The Walking Dead

This programme is superb... although why on Earth it is confined to the FX channel beats me. Never have I enjoyed a new series so much - maybe not since the pilot episode of Lost. For the uninitiated it follows the survivors of a zombie apocalypse - okay admittedly it starts off a bit like 28 Days Later with the hero waking up from a coma in hospital only to find all hell has broken loose in the world. I particular liked the scene in episode 2 where to sneak past the walkers (zombies) they have chop up one of the undead and cover themselves in the all the gore and entrails from the corpse... only that way can they smell like one of the dead and they then have to shuffle down the street past hordes of zombies. Great stuff!

Rating: 9/10

"The Fallen Herald" by Simon P. Edwards

March 2010 saw the publication of a brilliant new fantasy novel by the cutting edge British author Simon P. Edwards. The Fallen Herald is Book 1 in the Heaven's War series and takes place on the mythical world of Rune which unfolds as a backdrop to an array of heroic characters whose destinies are entwined in an epic story of tragedy and revenge.

The book is a terrific read... but don't take my word for it! Below are some reviews taken from Amazon:

5* Refreshingly original

'This is one of the best fantasy books i have read in a long time - refreshingly original, grabs you from page one. Simon P Edwards is up there with Tad williams and J V Jones.'


5* A must read!


'Like the title says, a must read. I have read hundreds of fantasy novels and this is up there in my top 10. The way Simon has created this world and managed to explain the mythology and characters without over complicating the story is a refreshing change of pace in what can sometimes be an overly complicated part of reading epic fantasy books.


Moving to the story I'm not going to spoil anything just to say the multiple story lines all run well together. The world Simon has created is brilliantly crafted, living gods, immortal beings, fantasy creatures and of course the humans. What more could you want.'


5* The best read I have had in a very long time!


'I bought this book after meeting the author at a book signing, and could not put it down once I started reading. The characters are three dimensional and very well fleshed out, so much so you really find yourself caring about them, and the story is just amazing. The amazing thing is, I am not a major fantasy fan, but this book demands that you read it until the very end, such is the quality of the story. If you like fantasy novels, you need to own this, but so will many other readers too.'

You can read more reviews or purchase The Fallen Herald from Amazon if you click on the following link:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Fallen-Herald-Book-Heavens-War/dp/1449024947/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1289118494&sr=1-1

If you would like to read Chapters 1 & 2 then click on the following link:

http://thefallenherald.com/chapters1-2.pdf

And finally if you would like to learn more about the book and its author then click on the following link:

http://www.thefallenherald.com/

PIGS

We're sunk: Ireland's top economist says bank losses make bankruptcy 'inevitable'

Just been reading the following on The Daily Mail website:

"Ireland will be forced into national bankruptcy because of the soaring losses in its stricken banking system, the country’s leading economist has warned. Professor Morgan Kelly predicted that Ireland would follow Greece in seeking a humilating bail-out from the European Union due to a £60.3billion (€70billion) blackhole in its financial system. But Prof Kelly, an economics professor at University College, Dublin, believes that Brussels will force Dublin to pay such a high price that it will 'inevitably' default on its loans. The EU wants to 'make an example' of Ireland so that debt-laden Spain and Italy won’t seek the ‘soft option’ of a EU rescue package, according to Prof Kelly. 'Our debt will rise faster than out means of servicing it and we will inevitably face a State bankruptcy that will destroy what few shreds of out international reputation that still remain,' he argued"

Now I have no reason to disbelieve Professor Morgan Kelly... but is it really necessary for the smartarse b*st*rd to put the boot in? Do the Irish people really want to be reminded that their country stands on the verge of being f*cked?? I've always thought that the more so called experts heap on the doom they actually compound the effect - people are understandably scared and they stop spending and the economy collapses.

Rant over.

Why do football managers constantly chew gum?

I'm not an avid football fan by any stretch... but why is it whenever you see someone like Ferguson on the telly - he is always chewing gum. Always, always, always. There they are standing on the touchline chomping away. Then the TV cameras always show a shot of the dugout and there you see a whole line of them - coaching staff, physios, other lackeys... all chewing away. Is that what you have to be to be involved in football... be a gum addict???

Weird.

"The aircraft carrier built in a conservatory: Made from Lego, it weighs more than 500lb, is 23ft long and took 600 hours to build"

"Britannia rules the waves once again boasting the the world's biggest aircraft carrier - but this one is made from Lego. The 23-foot-long, quarter-of-a-ton model is an exact replica of the USS Intrepid and was built by British Lego fan Ed Diment. The enormous model took a whopping 600 man hours over nine months to complete and weighs a hefty 551lbs. It is made from 250,000 separate Lego pieces collected over the last 30 years and even comes with its own planes, life rafts and crew to make it extra-realistic" -- Daily Mail website

Okay... I'm impressed. Two things though spring to mind about this eccentric behaviour:

1) Why the USS Intrepid?
2) Didn't he take the easy option of recreating an aircraft carrier that predominantly has a nice easy flat top. Why not make a model of a battleship with lots of uneven superstructure?

Weird.

'Better to be passionate about girls than be gay': Berlusconi faces down his opponents over latest scandal

Scandal-hit Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi raised eyebrows when he told an audience: 'It’s better to be passionate about beautiful girls than be gay.'

I must admit... he's got a point! Even if he is a philandering, corrupt, obnoxious GIT!

"EU blows £33m on bulletproof limousines for ambassadors"

Okay, I know that is Obama's car tank above - however it turns out that the revolting Baroness Ashton has sanctioned the wasting of £33m on 150 over the top armoured limos for EU officials who are stationed in foreign countries - even those where there is no threat of assassination. I used to think belonging to the EU benefited the UK... but after reading yesterday's Sunday Times - I ain't so sure!

More to come...