Avatar

Apparently Avatar cost $300 million to make, 12 years to put together (most of that time inventing the technology to shoot it) and nearly 3 hours to watch... and do you know what. I wasn't that impressed. Don't get me wrong, the effects are truly amazing and I particularly liked the military vehicles etc. However the story was simplistic and the characters were unsympathetic. Why is Sam Worthington given great jobs? First of all we see him in Terminator Salvation, then this film and then early 2010 he is in Clash of The Titans... and do you know what? HE IS SH*T. He cannot act for toffee. Honestly I could do better. The actress that plays the love interest and the bloke who plays the baddie colonel are far superior actors.

All in all a great disappointment and to my mind James Cameron's weakest film. I think he got stuck up his own arse with all the technology to make it and forgot about entertainment, writing and acting.

Rating: 6/10.

PS. The 3D glasses gave me a headache too!

"Desperate Kerry sells mum's home"

"Financial mess Kerry Katona has managed to solve her housing problem.The troubled ex-Atomic Kitten has discovered that, by selling her mother's home, she can keep her own £1.2 million mansion.Having fallen behind with her £4,000-a-month mortgage payments, Kerry has formulated a plan to sell mum Sue's £130,000 two-bed terrace in order to cover the arrears.A friend told the Daily Star: "Kerry was in a right state as she thought she would end up homeless. She has no money left and all that she has got is paying off her debts."She spoke to the mortgage lender and they told her if she can pay off the arrears within three months, and keep her monthly payments up to date, they will let her keep the house."Kerry's mum is reportedly (and understandably) said to be "horrified and upset" by the prospect of homelessness.The source added: "She feels terrible kicking her mum out but she has herself and her four kids to think of. They've had to come first."As Sue has no income she can easily get a council house but it would be harder for a former millionairess like Kerry to explain why she would need a free home."But, apart from allegedly squandering £1m on shiny new cars for layabout husband Mark and popping out for beer and kebabs on a regular basis, how has Kerry managed to get into such a mess?The pal continued: "Kerry claims she didn't even know she'd fallen behind with her mortgage as she never bothers to check her bankstatements."Or open her post, presumably." - AOL website

UNBELIEVABLE!!! Can't really say anymore than that... UNBELIEVABLE!!!

Rant over.

Do you watch Poirot?

I asked a few people at work the other day if they ever watched Agatha Christie's Poirot... and no one had. In fact I don't think I have ever watched a full episode. So my question is - Does anyone watch Poirot?

Weird.

Secret Santa Smash Up!

Being the stingey bloke I am - I opted out of this years Secret Santa... and as Chris had a day off when the presents were being given out, I was given the task of opening his gift. This turned out to be a big mistake as after I had removed the wrapping paper and opened the box one of the items (a coffee mug) fell out the bottom and smashed on the floor! Bad luck Chris...

Feeling grumpy 'is good for you'

"In a bad mood? Don't worry - according to research, it's good for you.
An Australian psychology expert who has been studying emotions has found being grumpy makes us think more clearly.
In contrast to those annoying happy types, miserable people are better at decision-making and less gullible, his experiments showed.
While cheerfulness fosters creativity, gloominess breeds attentiveness and careful thinking, Professor Joe Forgas told Australian Science Magazine.
'Eeyore days'
The University of New South Wales researcher says a grumpy person can cope with more demanding situations than a happy one because of the way the brain "promotes information processing strategies".
Negative moods trigger more attentive, careful thinking, paying greater attention to the external world
Professor Joe Forgas
He asked volunteers to watch different films and dwell on positive or negative events in their life, designed to put them in either a good or bad mood.
Next he asked them to take part in a series of tasks, including judging the truth of urban myths and providing eyewitness accounts of events.
Those in a bad mood outperformed those who were jolly - they made fewer mistakes and were better communicators.
Professor Forgas said: "Whereas positive mood seems to promote creativity, flexibility, co-operation and reliance on mental shortcuts, negative moods trigger more attentive, careful thinking, paying greater attention to the external world."
The study also found that sad people were better at stating their case through written arguments, which Forgas said showed that a "mildly negative mood may actually promote a more concrete, accommodative and ultimately more successful communication style".
His earlier work shows the weather has a similar impact on us - wet, dreary days sharpened memory, while bright sunny spells make people forgetful." -- BBC News website

I knew it! I knew it!!... This being happy sh*t is b*ll*cks!!!

Don't you love this wonderful weather?...

I just wanted to say "Thanks mate!" to the bloke who pushed my car in the snow this evening. Whoever you are... you're a gent!

Roundabouts

Have you ever approached a roundabout at a distance and noticed that no one is crossing the junction? Have you ever thought - "That's good... maybe I will get to the junction and not have to come to a complete halt". Do these thoughts continue to pass through your mind all the time you are approaching said roundabout? Not a soul about. Then... you finally get to the roundabout and 58,932 cars appear from the right - completely out of nowhere!!!

Rant over.

Automatic Sliding Doors

Recently I have had issues with automatic sliding doors... namely, they don't open when I approach them.

Weird.

Final X Factor Rant...

Surely it wasn't a coincidence that:
"Sir" Paul McCartney
George Michael
Robbie Williams
Lady Ga Ga
Rhianna
Shakira
Michael Buble
Whitney Houston
The Black Eyed Peas
and... Uncle Tom Cobbly... all had new albums to promote? SURELY NOT!!!

Rant over.

Ryan Giggs... sports personality of the year?

What personality?

BIZARRE!

Rant

Over.

The Fallen Herald

What is The Fallen Herald - I hear you ask?
Well it is a recently published novel written by a friend of mine, Simon P Edwards and I must say it is truly an exceptional read. The epic story follows the adventures of the heroic Alazla and various other characters on the mythical world of Rune. The author has created a thoroughly believable and original setting as a dramatic backdrop for an action packed story that drives along at a speed that compels you to just keep turning the pages until you have reached the climactic end. If you want to learn more about The Fallen Herald and its author Simon P Edwards then then check out Simon's website http://www.thefallenherald.com/

Rating: 10/10

Easy Tiger...

Less than a week after the first claim that Tiger Woods had been playing away, the number of ladies linked to the golf ace has now reached seven.And there are rumours of still more women ready to come out of the woodwork - with whispers about a British TV presenter doing the rounds. -- AOL website

Probably Ulrika Jonnson...

3rd Birthday for The Hammond Rants

Thank you all for reading The Hammond Rants

Rants... not over!

"That's why mums shop at Iceland"

Colleen Nolan and Jason Donovan buy/eat food from Iceland? I don't think so...

Rant over.

World Cup Draw

England have been drawn to face the United States, Algeria and Slovenia in the group stage of the 2010 World Cup in South Africa -- BBC News website

I watched the draw on BBC2 and the ensuing interview with Alan Shearer, John Motson and that scouse bloke. Nice easy group eh? We all know what is likely to happen don't we? Yep, the same as everytime England qualify for the World Cup. They will draw the first game, lose the second and struggle to win the third... come second and then get snuffed out in the next round. But before this happens we will have to endure all the usual b*ll*cks about how England are going to win the tournament. Deja vu?

Rant over.

Steel Closure

Steelmaker Corus has confirmed it will curtail production at its Teesside Cast Products factory, putting 1,700 people out of work.
The plant had been at risk since a 10-year deal suddenly fell through.
Business Secretary Lord Mandelson expressed his disappointment, saying it will be a "very difficult time for the workforce". -- BBC News website

"very difficult time for the workforce"... NO SH*T SHERLOCK.

What I'd like to know is why and how the "consortium" were allowed to tear up this 10 year contract?

Rant over.

"RBS board to quit if chancellor vetoes £1.5bn in bonuses"

"The directors of Royal Bank of Scotland have been given legal advice that they would have to resign if the chancellor of the exchequer were to block them from paying the bonuses they regard as essential to maintain the competitiveness of the group." -- Robert Peston (BBC News website)

So let me get this right?... a bank which has been rescued by the taxpayer due to the utter and total incompetence of it's management is demanding that it will have to pay huge bonuses to it's investment bank people in order to retain them!!! I am actually lost for words...

Success = Bonus
Failure = Bonus

I'm now going to go away and throw up...

Rant over.