From yesterday's papers...

The offending picture from yesterday's papers... who is she???

Sienna Miller

Who is this bloody woman???
Everytime you pick up a newspaper there's a photo of her. What has she done?
Appeared in a couple of films and been cheated on by the vaccuous Jude Law.

Rant over

Cape Town (Part 5)

The last evening I spent in Cape Town was at L and C's house (N's sister and brother-in-law) where we had a braai (barbecue to the uninitiated). After stuffing myself stupid yet again (I must admit eating is one of my most favourite pastimes) we once again made our weary way home.

It was up early the next day as it was to time to depart on the epic journey back to the UK. I think I said this before... but I am determined not to do the "via Doha" route again. Anyway I said my farewells to N and her family plus I asked her dad on the phone if I had his permission to marry his eldest daughter which he really appreciated (I had asked N's mum a bit earlier). Luckily both had said "yes". Then I was off! Incidentally N just to clarify things, N was taking the same flight a couple of days later.

On the plane was a group of Greek tourists who had been on a grand tour of the countries of southern Africa. Irritatingly they wouldn't sit down to begin with and were jabbering away at a million miles an hour.

Eventually I arrived in Doha where I had an 8/9 hour stop over!!! Fortunately I found a place called the Quiet Room where you could recline on specially designed seats and have a sleep. Of course you had to have your hand luggage hooked around a foot so as no one tried to thieve it... plus of course the alarm set on your phone so as you didn't miss your flight. I have endured worse (Gatwick Airport on the outward journey for instance).

The flight was uneventful and I managed to overdose myself on watching one film after the other (it was interactive)... which leads to me recommend "Little Miss Sunshine" a truly excellent film that I heartily recommend.

At last we landed at Heathrow and all that was left was the depressing journey back on the Piccadilly Line to Kings Cross and then on to WGC. It was whilst I was on the tube I realised I had left my copy of Casino Royale on the plane (mind you I had managed to finish it).

Coming soon Cape Town II - The Wedding

One Year Today!

Just a note to say that it is the first anniversary of N and I first meeting!!!

Recommended TV: The Lost Room

I watched this last night on Sky One. Brilliant. A three part series starring Peter Krause from Six Feet Under. He comes into the possession of a key that when placed in the lock of any door opens a portal to an extra-dimensional motel room. Once inside the room the keyholder only has to think of where he wants to go and once the door is open again he finds himself at his desired destination. Others are after the key and they have other items from the motel room such as the clock, the pen and the bus ticket all of which have unique and supernatural powers. For instance the bus ticket teleports the target to a long straight road in New Mexico.

Watch it... it's good!

Rating: 8/10

Dench does it again...

Note the piggy eyes and disagreeable look on her face... unsmiling as always!

I see "Dame" Judi Dench has been nominated for an Academy Award (Oscar) again... hopefully Kate Winslet will beat her.

No. 4 Noel Edmonds

Bearded prat! What skills does this guy have? And just when we thought we were rid of him he comes back in Deal or No Deal. He isn't funny, he doesn't sing, he doesn't act... a complete waste of space who is worth a fortune. Probably due for a knighthood then!

Rant over

Craggy islands row over Father Ted

Taken from bbc.co.uk

"A row has broken out between two remote Irish islands over an inaugural Father Ted festival next month.
Inis Mor, the largest of the three Aran Islands off County Galway, is planning a three-day "Friends of Ted" event.
They want to mark the ninth anniversary of the death of comic Dermot Morgan, the star of the Channel 4 series.
However, Inis Oirr, the smallest of the islands, believes it has a bigger claim over Father Ted because local scenes, including the Plassey shipwreck, are shown in the opening scenes of the hit comedy.
Inis Mor has been given an off-season cash injection as dozens of Father Ted fans have rushed to book hotels, hostels and B&Bs for the festival which runs from 23 - 25 February.
However, one B&B owner on Inis Oirr said: "It's unfair that Inis Mor is cashing in on Father Ted when, obviously, we have closer links with the show.
"Fans and tourists would have come here in the past, just to view the Plassey shipwreck. Inis Mor is trying to pull a fast one to be honest and we're not very impressed."
The Friends of Ted event features an array of themed events associated with the comedy series, such as the Father Jack Cocktail Evening, the Father Dougal Breakfast Movie Charades, the Lovely Girls Contest and Charity Auction and A Song for Europe.

Drink! Feck! Girls! - Frank Kelly as Father Jack
Also featured on the bill are the Toilet Duck Comedy Awards, Crazy Golf, Hide A Nun and Seek, Ludo Aerobics, Buckeroo Speed Dating and a Ferrero Rocher Quiz Night.
Fancy dress five-aside football will also pit priests against nuns on the island.
The organisers hope to limit the event to 100 lucky fans and a proportion of ticket sales will go towards Croi, the West of Ireland Cardiology Foundation.
Father Ted is set on the fictitious Craggy Island but was shot at various locations in County Clare such as Ennis, Kilfenora, Ennistymon, and Kilnaboy.
The parochial house is at Glenquin, near Kilnaboy. All interior scenes were shot in London.
Written by Arthur Mathews and Graham Linehan, Father Ted ran for three seasons on Channel 4 between April 1995 and May 1998.
It is currently being screened on BBC America and is repeated frequently on Channel 4, More4 and RTE Two.
'Drink!'
The hit comedy spawned a string of catchphrases and launched the careers of Ardal O'Hanlon as Father Dougal, a simple minded priest, manic housekeeper Pauline McLynn and veteran actor Frank Kelly who won over younger audiences as an alcoholic lay-about who randomly shouted: "Drink! Feck! Girls!"
The show won a BAFTA award for Best Comedy in 1996 while Morgan won a BAFTA for Best Actor and Pauline McLynn scooped the Best Actress award.
Dermot Morgan died aged 45 on 28 February 1998 after he suffered a heart attack at his home just 24 hours after finishing the recording of the last episode of Father Ted.
More information on the Friends of Ted festival is available on www.friendsofted.org. "

I think Father Ted is brilliant... defintely one of my favourite comedies of all time!

Cape Town (Part 4)

On to the reception!... and at last dinner (not that I'm obssessed with eating, but I do like my food). The evening went really well and Gavin (the groom) reminded all those present about N and me getting married in April (which was good of him). It's a weird feeling because I have now gained another family in another country and if you had asked me what would have been happening in my life 18 months ago I would never have guessed at the events that would come. It was just before midnight that we made our weary way back home and so to bed.

The next day N and I set out for Table Mountain... we parked up and made our way to the cable car station anticipating a potential 3 hour wait. But instead we discovered that we could walk straight on. Cloud cover was low giving the mountain its table cloth covering. The cable car itself was well thought out because you stood on a turntable which slowly rotated giving everyone inside a panoramic view through 360 degrees. At the summit we disembarked only to discover that the clouds were still obscuring the view (as you can see in the photo below). We walked around a bit, had a coffee and then... the cloud cover cleared and revealed the splendor of Cape Town and the surrounding area.

To be continued

A view from Table Mountain

Me and Table Mountain

Note the panoramic view behind me!

Cape Town (Part 3)

Anyway... we eventually delivered the cake (with only a few melted bits) to the venue and after N had had a brief conflab with the hotel supervisor concerning the layout of the tables we made our way back to base to finally get ready for the main event.

At 5:45 the bridal car turned up (Mercedes SLK AMG55 - nice motor!) and we drove in convoy to the church. The ceremony took place at a New Apostolic church in Plumstead which was totally a new experience for me. The choir conductor reminded me of Oddjob from Goldfinger minus the deadly bowler hat and the church regulars all said "Amen" really quickly which caught the untrained unawares... meanwhile as this was all taking place, L (N's sister) had suffered a puncture and had missed a chunk of the service!

Of course before and after the ceremony I was being rapidly introduced to N's relatives and friends... including her aunt's partner Joe (who everyone tried to avoid - I actually saw him trying to chat up one of the hotel staff later!) ... We then all made our way to the reception.

To be continued

The Great Wind of '07

Good to see the country customarily being reduced to chaos because of a bit of wind!

Starbucks

I see that Starbucks has decided to open up lots more branches in London, even to the extent of competing with itself... it says it is doing this because it gives a service to the community. Yeah right! Destroy the competiton until it is the only brand left more like!

Rant over

Doomsday Clock nearing 'midnight'

This is interesting...

"The keepers of the so-called Doomsday Clock - which counts down to nuclear Armageddon - will on Wednesday move its hands forward for the first time in four years.
The Bulletin Of The Atomic Scientists magazine said it was now the "most perilous period" since the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Since 1947 the clock, with midnight representing nuclear apocalypse, has appeared on the cover of the magazine, which was founded by University of Chicago physicists alarmed about the dangers of the nuclear age.
The minute hand was last moved in February 2002, when it was pushed forward by two minutes, to seven minutes to midnight.
Theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking will be among scientists who speak when the Bulletin announces how far the hands will be moved this time.
The magazine said the "major step" reflected growing concerns about a "second nuclear age" marked by grave threats including nuclear ambitions in Iran and North Korea and unsecured nuclear materials in Russia and elsewhere.
The continuing "launch-ready" status of 2,000 of the 25,000 nuclear weapons held by the US and Russia, was also a problem, as was escalating terrorism.
The magazine said new pressure from climate change for expanded civilian nuclear power could increase proliferation risks.
The closest the clock has come to midnight is just two minutes away. That was in 1953, when the US and the Soviet Union tested thermonuclear devices within nine months of each other.
In 1991, in a wave of optimism at the end of the Cold War, it was set the furthest away, at 17 minutes to midnight."

Nothing like cheerful news!

Cape Town (Part 2)

Trivia time... Woolworths in South Africa equals Marks & Spencer and not Woolworths in the UK. Also there aren't any self service petrol stations!

Wednesday, N took me to see the venue for our wedding at Suikerbossie (The Sugar Bush). A very impressive establishment situated on a hill with a spectacular view of the ocean. We then drove down to Hout Bay where we had lunch at a busy fish restaurant. Fish actually tastes like fish in Cape Town and not the sort of thing you get here... well apart from St. Ives in Cornwall!

At this point I must admit that my stomach was still grumbling from the effects of overstuffing myself from the previous evening and it was now that I was about to experience one of those very embarrassing moments... we had an appointment to see the photographer and when we drew up in front of his house I had the most desperate urge to use the bathroom. Within moments of him answering the door I just had to ask if I could avail myself of his facilities to which he duly obliged. I quickly headed to the small room, bypassing the bedroom where the photographer's wife was dozing! Fortunately before dropping my trousers I remembered to double check that there was toilet paper and to my horror there wasn't any!!!! So I had to go back and ask the photographer, who by this point was chatting to N, and ask him if he had some paper. I have never been so apologetic in my life!

On the Thursday I had my hair cut at Maybert's a very camp looking guy... this was in preparation for N's mum's wedding later on in the day. Actually on thinking about it that was the first time I have had my hair cut anywhere apart from Terry's at The Quadrant for the last 30 plus years!!... and he only charged £3.40 as opposed to £10.00 at Terry's and I even had it washed. What a bargain! Anyway N and I had to go and pick up the wedding cake from a guy called Darrel, a hideosly obese guy who weighed approximately 100 stone (mind you I didn't get to see him as I was in the car). Then with the aircon on at full blast to prevent the cake from melting we had to quickly drive to the venue which was near to the Waterfront. What happened next? You will have to wait and see...

To be continued.

Me getting my face painted

Cape Town (Part 1)

Firstly I would heartily recommend travelling to South Africa by a direct flight rather than the route N and I took. Door to door it took 30 hours (including a 9 hour wait at Doha airport for the connection). Mind you going that route means that you can claim you have flown over Iraq (very close to Baghdad and Basra in fact) I was fervently hoping that there wouldn't be a friendly fire incident from a stray American missile. After a one hour stop at Johannesburg to let off passengers the flight carried on for another couple of hours to Cape Town. Of course now I can claim to have been further south in Africa than Pad as he failed to get to South Africa on his African holiday from some years back... so ha ha!!

On the evening that I arrived - N, her Mum (or Mom as they say incorrectly in that part of the world), G (her Mom's husband), L (sister), C (brother-in-law) and little c (baby niece) went to Moyo which is a vineyard near Spier for a super slap up dinner. You went up and selected your food from various "stands" where someone was cooking it. I gorged myself on a variety of South African delicacies including curried spring bok (yum!) Musical entertainment came in the form of various ethnic African groups including dancers. I also ended up getting my face painted with the emblem of a burning sun applied to my forehead.

By the end of the evening I was completely knackered and was asleep before my head hit the pillow!

To be continued...

Me wearing my Christmas present!

Arabic

It beggars belief to me that anyone can understand Arabic... listening to it on Qatar Airways flights and whilst in Egypt it sounds like random gibberish spoken at 20 million miles per hour. It has to be one of the most unattractive spoken languages anywhere. At least Japanese sounds beligerant...

Rant over